I'm in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. I have no bookings scheduled. I've got 200 bucks for gas to get somewhere if I do get a show booked. Other than that emergency fund, I spent the last of my money at Leatha's BBQ.
I keep writing that I'm better with my money than it seems like. Obviously I'm lying to myself. I must suck with money because here I am.
This isn't my worst case scenario. I do enough to get to another show if I can book one. It's close to my nightmare though. Being in the same place for long makes me anxious. Being broke and having nothing coming up doesn't help that feeling. As long as I'm driving to another job, I feel like things are fine. Sitting here in my car it's unclear if I'm a wrestler without a gig or a homeless person. The line is thin.
I listen to podcasts about mental health sometimes. They talk about how the purpose of therapy is to focus on problem solving and solutions instead of fixating on the problem itself. Sounds good, but what tools are there to help you get more money?
There are only so many calls I can make looking for work. And there are even less free things to do in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. And there's only so much walking around you can do.
I spent most of the day looking at medical websites and trying to decide if I'm horrible for not trying to do more to help people with healing magic. Turns out without a medical degree, or a HS education at least, reading those sites is pretty much useless.
I came to no conclusions about how horrible I am. Some probably.
As much as I fear being trapped with no money and nothing upcoming, I've done nothing to prepare for when it happens. Can you do that though? Save money for the tough times? First you'd have to have some money to save.
Catch-22
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