The Shine

If you're a werewolf experience male pattern baldness there is hope!

I worked in Tyler last night. After the show I went to get my forty bucks from the promoter. Instead of handing me a wad of filthy cash he said that he had paid me in advance. Then he sat back and crossed his arms like he had really accomplished something. He was so happy.

I always try to get money up front. It rarely happens because promoters know that wrestlers are flaky. Even when they don't plan on ripping you off they night not show. And it's no small chance that they might be looking to rip you off.

Things got loud. I got pissed, walked away, and started looking for stuff to steal. Remember when I said that I wasn't a criminal? There's a tradition in the world of wrestling that if the guy running the show stiffs you what you do is you steal whatever you can to make up for the lost income. I saw a guy walk out of a venue with a thousand Solo cups one time because he didn't get paid.

This doesn't make a sense because you're not stealing from the guy that ripped you off, you're stealing from the venue. Stealing from the venue only hurts yourself in the long run because it makes the owners of that the venue less likely to book another wrestling show there. But when you drive 8 hours to work for twenty fucking dollars and then you don't even get it because the asshole who hired you won't pony up, you start looking for a way to get even. Not in the payback sense, I mean monetarily.

I've done this a few times. So I am a criminal, but it's justified by tradition like Alaskan natives hunting endangered whales.

Before that drama I got lectured by a sixty-year-old man with a potbelly and skinny chicken legs wearing a werewolf mask. What was left of a werewolf mask , it looked like he had been wearing the same one since the 1980's and part of it had worn away and the rest had fused with his bald head.

I was going over my match with a woman whose name I forget. She was wearing a school girl outfit which along with cheerleader is the outfit of choice for 35% of independent lady wrestlers. And probably similar ratio for strippers. While I was talking with the schoolgirl, the fat werewolf came over to bless us with his veteran advice. He asked me what my gimmick was and I told him that I didn't have one.

He got pissed because he said you need a gimmick to make it in this business. I declined to point out that he was working the same shit show I was so his advice didn't come from a good place. He asked what kind of story we could tell with a schoolgirl in one corner and then a no gimmick in the other. I asked him what kind of a story can you tell with an adult woman in a school girl outfit and anyone else? Besides a pornographic one.

I actually do agree with him. The problem is, what kind of gimmick can I have that doesn't really cost any money in the form of new gear or props or anything and also doesn't require me to do or say anything? That's a very narrow window for creative thinking. Maybe I should steal El Generico The Generic Luchador's gimmick. He's dead so he doesn't need it anymore. I'm not sure how I feel about wrestling in a mask though.

Seems like it would be hot in there.   

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