The Shine

Blackout - part 2

I don't remember parts of the next three days. I remember trying to get in touch with Bloody Mary. I failed at first because I was calling the wrong promoter jabbering like a mental patient. When I managed to get my shit together at first the right promoter wouldn't give me her number because he thought I had it out for her, that I was looking to settle a score over the match.

When I finally convinced him that wasn't the case and got her number she didn't answer or return my calls or texts. I remember trying to use my healing spell but I couldn't do it. Doing magic with a concussion is a bad idea. You can't comprehend that it's a bad idea when you have a concussion though. Paradox. I could have really fucked things up trying that.

I don't know if it's true but I've heard that if you go to sleep with a concussion you can die, so I was terrified to fall asleep. I wouldn't lay down because I knew I would drift off I did. After a while I was afraid to even sit down. I stood propped in the corner like a psycho.

I must have missed a call because I had a message from a promoter telling me I would never work in the business again. He was going to blackball me. I had missed his show and not called. Missing a show is bad. Missing a show without calling is very bad. Silver lining no one I work for has the clout to get anyone blackballed.

I remember a hotel guy letting himself in leading two paramedics. The little woman paramedic said that the maid had come in on me, saw all the blood, and assumed that I had a miscarriage and was sitting there dying. I have no memory of that.

They took me to a hospital and shaved my head and stitched me up. They kept having to stop and cut bloody hair chunks out before they could continue with the clippers because they would get jammed. I remember that.

They told me that the treatment for a concussion is rest and "activities that limit thinking". That's what I was doing, I was just sitting there, so why did they take me to the hospital? They told me I could sleep, which was nice to know. They told me no video games, which was easy since I don't play video games, and no socializing which was also easy because I barely do that. They told me no TV which I didn't listen to as much as the first two.

I watched an episode of Law and Order on the motel TV. A woman who grew up in the foster care system and was never adopted finds out her real mother is a rich model, and her real father is a super-rich rich guy. Something like that has probably happened in real life once. I don't normally waste time feeling sorry for myself but at that moment I wished that someone would come and say "oh, we found your parents and they're rich, so now you are too."

I bet rich people get the good concussion medicine.

Between the damage I did to the first room by bleeding all over and and the cost of a few days in another room I was flat broke. I was so dizzy I was afraid to drive. I called and cancelled my next show. I was left with zero money and a third of a tank of gas. Not enough to get me to the next show I had booked after the one I cancelled.

That's my nightmare, running out of money and being stuck. I usually always make sure I always have enough money to make it to the next show no matter what. Skipping meals is a popular way to cut corners, as is sleeping in the car. The multi-day motel stay had fucked that all up. That's when a miracle happened. And when you see how it turned out you'll get an idea or what kind of miracles I get in my life.

I got a call from Natasha. That's her wrestling name, I forget her real name. Or never knew it. I have no idea how she got my number, I don't remember ever speaking to her before. She was on television for about three years in the late-2000s. She was the wrestling "it" girl for a few months. That was when WWE used to make an it girl every fiscal quarter. Seriously, go back and look at the WWE Diva's champions from that time, half of them you've forgotten were ever in the biz. The other half you wish you could.

Natasha looks like a young Lena Heady. She did cameos on shitty sitcoms, she was in a cell phone commercial with a mascot that looked like a giant dildo, and she was in a straight to DVD movie about roller derby. Riding this wave of success, she quit wrestling to become an actress and was promptly forgotten. Her career now is going to wrestlecons selling crap and an Onlyfans site. She's been saying she's going to un-retire for a decade.

She was calling me for an MMA fight of all things. Her boyfriend is involved in a third tier MMA organization. They had a show in Creve Coeur the next night with one female fight scheduled on the card. Scheduled female fighter #1 had withdrawn without notice. Maybe due to injury, maybe due to not wanting to get her ass kicked.

For reasons Natasha wouldn't explain the promoters "had" to have a women's fight or cancel the event. They were looking for a sub. In this case by sub I mean someone to come in with no time to train and get their ass beat. I've never seen it but I think that's the same plot as Rocky. Natasha said she picked me because of my "boxing background". I have no boxing background. I was too desperate to question any of this. I have no idea what really was going on.

I had enough gas to get to Creve Coeur and the pay was a thousand dollars! I found out later the pay was actually two grand but Natasha was pocketing half. That's how I ended up as a competitor on Indiana Fighting Championship 44 : Inferno. Do you need a license to be an MMA fighter? Fuck if I know. No one asked me, that's for sure.

I was pitted against "The Traveler" Julia Williams. She looked more like a Bond girl to me than a fighter. I googled it, she looks like the one from Die Another Day. I had no idea what was going on or what I was supposed to do. I just hung around the venue waiting for someone to give me any information. One guy I asked flipped his lid because I told him I didn't have any MMA gloves. Some woman with a headset brought me gloves. So hey, free gloves.

If you're not sure, getting into an MMA fight with no training is not a good idea. Four days after getting a concussion is probably about the worse time to go into an MMA fight with no training. The question is, why did I try to fight her? I'm a wrestler, I should know better. If there's one thing I should know it's how to make a fight look good and then lose without getting hurt too much. I should have just let her grapple me and then tapped and collected my $1000.

They say every time you get a concussion your brain gets weaker and you become more likely to get more concussions. They also say that MMA is the worst sport for concussions because you continue getting hit after you're knocked out. That seriously damages your brain. I don't remember most of the fight. I know that it lasted into the second round, which doesn't say much for the Traveler.

I know that I lost. I would swear to you that I was disqualified for kneeing the Traveler in the head, but that makes no sense because I remember her knocking me down with a combination of punches and then jumping on me and the referee stopping it. She must have won by TKO. Can you knee someone once in MMA and get a warning? I don't fucking know.

When I woke up I was sitting in the corner of a janitor's closet. Did I go in there and sit down and pass out or did those MMA fuckers just shove me in there? I was messed up but it wasn't nearly as bad as the Bloody Mary/Eterno experience. There's only about a day and a half I don't remember fully from getting my bell rung by the Traveler.

I'm now a 0-1 MMA fighter. I've got better than CM Punk. And just as good as Bam Bam Bigelow, Nathan Jones, and Steve Williams. So I got that going for me.

That's why I haven't posted in a while.     

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