Eric, you may remember him as the skinny Macho Man, called me today. His wife left him to shack up with someone else again. He wants me to put "another" spell on her to make her take him back. It reminded me that once I sort of thought that I needed to start a cult. Part of the reason the Asian girl has more power than me is that she's channeling the energy of her followers.
I see now that's not a great idea.
I told Eric that I couldn't help him. He begged me to meet with him. I told him where my next few shows were if he wanted to come to me but I reiterated that there was nothing I could do for him. Some things people just don't want to hear.
I've gotten pretty good at a spell that simply amplifies my voice. It lets me talk to the crowd like I have a microphone even when I don't. Which is always. A lot of shows I work don't even have a PA system.
Last night I ripped into the crowd for being there because they want to see someone get hurt. I likened them to people who watch Nascar because they want to see a crash. Which is everyone who watches Nascar. I said they were cowards and voyeurs who were too scared to hurt people themselves so they watch others do it.
It worked. It really worked. There weren't a ton of people there but they hated me. Some of them threw stuff at me. You know someone is pissed when they hurl a 12 dollar beer at you.
When I got backstage my opponent asked me how I did it. I told her there was a small mic in my mask and it connected to an app on my phone. She had no further questions. Sometimes the fact that no one cares about much anyone else is doing is helpful. But not usually.
I watched a movie called My Fair Lady. It's about two guys that make a bet about turning a gross street urchin into a proper lady. It was pretty good. I think modern cinema is really missing the 'two rich guys ruining a woman's life on a whime' storyline. If any crazy rich people want to make a bet about if one of them can use their money to make me the world's most successful wrestler I'm game for that.
I also watched an episode of My Bare Lady. It's a British reality show about teaching porn stars to be real actors. My Fair Lady was better but not by as much as you might think.
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