The Shine

Dennis Rodman in Doubleteam!

When I got to Rockport the promoter told me that I was off the show because he had booked too many people. I was one second from going apeshit when he told me he was still going to pay me. I was wasn't sure I had heard right. Half the time when I actually work, I end up getting stiffed. I could barely wrap my mind around the concept of getting paid and not working.

I never heard of such a thing, booking too many people? What does that even mean? We're not on TV. There's no schedule we need to keep. Just add more matches. He said he was worried about the show being too long. That could make sense, some shows are way too long.

I told him that since I was getting paid I felt like I should do something. I said that I could be someone's valet but he looked me up and down and kindly told me in so many words to take my money and leave him alone.

Doug the Disco Biscuit taught me that you go around and introduce yourself to everyone else working on the show so they can ignore you or haze you or whatever they want to do depending on their status and your status and a bunch of other high school shit. I usually do that, but I'm not much for small talk. I'm not great at talking to people. I should work on that since the biz is built 88% on a network of bullshitting.

It was awkward going around to see if anyone could use me in their match but I made myself do it anyway. I can't get paid to do nothing. No one was excited to use me for anything. I don't blame them since they had no clue who I was. I had resigned myself to just watching the show when Paris Torissi came up to me and said that a friend of hers had been bumped off the show too.

Paris was scheduled to work a singles match with the Jean Sena and she asked if I would team up with Jean so her friend could team up with her and they'd turn the match into a tag. Paris was the only wrestler there I had ever heard of, having been in Women of Wrestling for a couple years. Which is owned by the woman who owns the fucking Lakers! Is that crazy or what? The woman that owns the Lakers also owns a wrestling promotion.

I told her I was willing but had never worked a tag before. She said that was fine and the three of them would help me through it. It was fine, not good by fine. A tag team match doesn't seem that complicated when I'm watching it, but I felt lost out there. I know a lot of rookies cut their teeth on tag matches before they do singles, that now seems crazy to me. I had a hard time keeping track of two more people in the ring.

It wasn't a terrible match, I didn't add much to it, mostly I stood on the apron while they did all the spots. Afterwards they told me I did a great job but that was just blowing smoke. I know that in their minds they were thinking "no wonder this fucking idiot wasn't on the show".  

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