The Shine

At least no one died

I was offered a booking in Moline. I didn't want to take it because it's close to Lyons. I shamed myself into saying yes anyway. What are you going to do, I said to myself, avoid the entire state of Illinois because of a teenager?

I should have. Maybe she would have showed up anyway. Maybe she was only there because she knew I was going to be there. She knows things.

When I drove up to the venue in my shitbox, I saw a 2019 Porsche Panamera in the parking lot. When I saw that car I knew she was there. Even though I knew already, when I looked out into the crowd and saw her face it froze my blood. I mentally railed at myself for being afraid of a HS girl.

I need to get over that. It's not logical to say to yourself that you shouldn't be afraid of a black widow spider because it's small. I absolutely should be scared of a teenager with the power she has. She's murdered two people. That I know of. She can control people's minds. She did terrible things to her own mother. Being an 80-pound girl doesn't change that.

There was a bunch of dudes with her. How many of them were part of her fellowship of Christian sex murder cult athletes versus how many of them were just assholes who wanted to goof on wrestling, I don't know. She was like a queen holding court surrounded by her knights in True Religion t-shirt armor.

I wish I was better at lying. I tried to think of a lie to tell the promoter to get him to cancel the show. Even now, days later, I still can't think of anything good I could have said. I keep coming back to claiming that she's the daughter of a Triad boss, which is not only stupid and maybe racist, but also not a reason to cancel the show. I should have called in a bomb threat.

At first, she and her douche-knights were content to just ruin the show for everyone else by screaming profanities at whoever was in the ring and throwing shit. There are a lot of fake tough guys in wrestling, but there are some real ones too. I was surprised that one of the boys didn't go out and grab one of the little fuckers by the throat. Maybe disappointed.

What did happen is the fans took matters into their own hands. A lot of wrestling fans are doughy wheezing beta cucks in Hot Topic t-shirts. But not all of them. Several fights broke out in the crowd. A couple guys there in EVENT windbreakers tried to get involved but things turned ugly fast.

The promoter told the boys to get out there and "settle" things. There was a kid there from a local wrestling school, not booked on the show just hanging out, that looked like he belonged in a boy band. He grabbed a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, because that sort of thing is laying around at a wrestling show, and ran out there like he was storming Normandy.

I watched a clip once of a riot at an ECW show. Fans were fleeing from a chain-swinging Sabu like people running away from Godzilla. This wasn't like that. This was more like the time Ron Artest went into the stands in Detroit. A lot of people there in the audience were taking their chance to get in cheap shots at the wrestlers.

My contribution was to summon a bunch of smoke and pull the fire alarm. Which is what I should have done to stop the event in the first place. The three people that got trampled in the fire panic is fewer injuries than there would have been if I did nothing.

It was four in the morning by the time Moline PD had cleared out. When I went outside, I saw that my car had been burned down to the frame. Around sunup, she texted me a video of herself and a bunch of her jackass friends torching my car.

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