Random OneShots

A secret language

By: bothsexuals on Ao3

Jesse x Joey

~~~~~~

It had been two weeks since Joey and Jesse had first kissed. Since then they'd kissed more (and done a little more than kissing, after all they were two consenting adults)—when Danny and the girls were out, when the kids were asleep and Danny was at work, when the two of them happened to have a conveniently timed work engagement at the same moment.

It all happened in secret of course. The kisses, the tender touches, the softly whispered words of affection—all of it had to be secret.

It made Joey sad, and Jesse knew that. Of course he did, because he'd learned to read Joey better than anyone—except maybe Danny—could, and because it broke his own heart, too. He wished, everyday, that he could say fuck it all and just say it out loud, scream it from the rooftops, kiss Joey senseless in front of everyone and let the whole world know who he was, who he loved. But he couldn't do that, because they might lose their best friend, they might lose this beautiful family they'd found.

So he had to keep it hidden, and he had to see his own heartbreak mirrored in Joey's eyes whenever someone mentioned a girl Jesse might be seeing (he wasn't, but they'd both decided it would be smart to let people believe it, keep them off their scent and whatnot), whenever someone flirted with him or with Joey, and neither one of them could say no, thank you, I already found the man for me.

So their love was secret- stolen kisses and gentle, hidden grazes of hands beneath the dinner table, tangled pinkies hidden within the couch cushions as they watched a movie with the girls, soft, muted footsteps as Joey climbed up the stairs in the dark of the night, the quiet creak of Jesse's door opening to let him in.

And Jesse worked hard, harder than he'd worked at anything, to let Joey feel his love through this veil of secrecy—he knew Joey watched him so carefully that he would notice all the warm, personal looks, the slight changes in his tone that would go over anyone else's head, the way Jesse always put some extra special care in the sandwiches he made for him.

And he did things he never thought he'd do—he started leaving notes in the lunches he packed for Joey (packing lunches for four people was also something he never thought he would do, but that was neither here nor there), a messy scrawl of I'll miss you, you look cute -J that he knew Joey would store away in a safe place in the garage.

He put so much care in letting Joey know what he would love to tell everyone else, but couldn't: despite all odds, Joey was the man of his dreams, and Jesse was determined to make him feel wonderful and loved forever.

Joey had climbed up the stairs to Jesse's room again that night, as he did most every night. He'd knocked the secret knock sequence he'd pouted his way into convincing Jesse to have and Jesse had opened the door and tugged him into a kiss. Now they lay in Jesse's bed, tangled together, trading lazy kisses.

"I liked your outfit today," Joey said, "you know we were matching again?"

"Again?" Jesse repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Why, Joseph, I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Joey sat up with a quiet gasp and accusingly pointed his finger against Jesse's chest. "You're doing it on purpose!"

"Of course I am," Jesse laughed, "you think I've been accidentally matching you for a week?"

Joey shrugged.

"But why?" he asked after a moment.

"Because—" Jesse sat up to face him better "—you know."

"I know?" Joey shook his head. "No, Jess, I don't know. If I knew, I wouldn't be asking, now would I?"

"Guess not," Jesse sighed.

He stayed quiet until Joey impatiently waved his hands begging for him to continue.

"You're really going to make me say it?" Jesse asked.

"I really am!" Joey exclaimed—well, as much as an exclamation as he could allow himself without risking being found out.

Jesse sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright. Well, I've just been waiting to see your outfits before I get dressed, as I'm sure you've noticed—" Joey nodded "—because then I can match you and it's kind of, you know...our thing."

"Our thing?" Joey repeated.

"Yeah, like, y'know, no one's gonna think twice about it, but you'll know and I'll know and it will kinda be a—oh, god, I sound so lame."

"You don't," Joey reassured him, grabbing his hand, "baby, you sound adorable. You sound amazing."

"I just hate that I can't tell everyone that we—and I know you hate it too, and I wish I could just kiss you in front of everyone and hold your hand and all that disgustingly mushy stuff you make me wanna do, but I can't and so I just keep looking for subtle ways to show you that I-"

"That you what?"

Jesse waved his hand dismissively. "You know."

"You what?" Joey repeated.

Jesse avoided his eyes until Joey put a finger under his chin and tilted it up, welcoming Jesse's gaze with a warm smile.

"You what?" he asked again.

"To show you that I love you," Jesse said quietly.

"I love you too, Jess," Joey whispered. "You know we've already said it, you don't need to be scared to tell me again. The cat's out of the bag, baby!"

"See, I do love you, but then you say things like that and I just—" Jesse grimaced playfully, back to his usual not-nervous self.

"You love me even more?" Joey replied, "I understand. I am irresistible."

"That you are," Jesse murmured. He grinned as he climbed onto Joey's lap to kiss him, slow and passionate.

Joey hummed when they pulled apart. "I think this might be my favorite way of yours to show me you love me."

"Really?" Jesse quirked an eyebrow. "So the clothes are a no?"

Joey smirked. "Well, depends on the moment. Right now, I could definitely do without 'em."

"Have mercy," Jesse sighed, rolling his eyes, but he quickly betrayed his annoyed facade by laughing brightly as Joey drew him even closer and kissed him again.

"Oh, by the way," Joey muttered in between kisses, "I was thinking of wearing green tomorrow."