Random OneShots

If your cascade ocean wave blues come

By: mraudersmoon on Ao3

Jegulus

~~~~~

Exhaustion.

It absolutely overtakes James' body as his feet drag beneath him, carrying him toward his flat. It's been a long day, to say the least. Even saying that is an understatement. He's been awake since 4 a.m., he had four classes, an exam that he most likely failed, and to make matters worse he forgot to take his medication in the morning, so he had a fucking panic attack.

He didn't even feel like he could call Regulus to help him.

It's a lot. Everything. Everything is a lot. Lately, doing anything feels so exhausting . Even waking up in the morning made James panic. It often felt like somebody was sitting on top of his chest.

He's so overwhelmed.

There's a weight on his chest and a cloud in his head as he unlocks the door to his flat and drops his bag on the ground as soon as he gets in. He doesn't even take his shoes off, he just locks the door and albeit collapses to the ground, back against the wall as he takes a shaky breath, shutting his eyes. Regulus' shoes are by the door, neatly placed in the corner. James assumes he's already home.

They haven't been talking much lately, with the exception of arguments and apologies, good mornings and good nights.

(Most nights, James falls asleep on the couch. He often wakes up with Regulus on top of him, a blanket thrown over both of them, and the tv turned off when he knows he left it on. He knows Regulus loves him, things are just hard right now.)

But he wants him, fuck . He wants Regulus so bad right now. He just wants to be held, he just wants to hold him . He just wants to kiss him .

Things are so tough, and fighting with Regulus makes it so much worse.

A choked sob leaves his throat and he curls into himself, his glasses falling off of his face as he brings his face to his knees, trying his best to muffle his sobs.

"James?"

He takes a deep breath, coughing slightly, then clearing his throat. He rubs his eyes on his sleeve, wiping away the tears and he breathes out slowly. "Yes, baby?" he calls back, hoping that his words are even.

"Jamie? What's wrong?" Regulus asks, and James can hear his footsteps getting closer to the living room. Quickly, he toes his shoes off and places them near the door, scrambling to get off of the floor. He leaves his bag on the ground, though.

"Nothing," James replies, grinning as Regulus enters the living room. "I'm okay," he says, clearing his throat again as he tries his hardest to push the lump in his throat away. There's a burning feeling in his chest and it honestly feels like he's being ripped to fucking shreds, but he holds his arms out for Regulus as he walks closer.

As his boyfriend takes a step closer, standing toe to toe with him, James smiles down at him and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. "James, baby," Regulus says carefully. "What's wrong? You don't sound okay, please tell me what's wrong-"