Random OneShots

You're Safe

By: Starsandmoonys on Ao3

Wolfstar

~~~~

It was one of the quiet ones, but just as strong. He could almost feel every curse, hear every shout, and every cry. It's a dream, a nightmare, but as always, it felt nothing but a reality to him. It was a memory. He wasn't dreaming of an impossible scenario. It all happened. It's just repeating in his brain now, over and over again. He can't escape and he tries so hard, but she's marked him. He can't shake the pain off.

He dragged himself from the bed, as soundlessly as he can. He didn't want to wake his partner up. The full moon was two days ago and he was still shaken. Sirius didn't want to burden him with his nonsense. He left the bedroom to collapse on the couch in the living room. It was dark. Quiet. He curled up into a ball and tried to calm down, then failing miserably at it and he started to breathe heavily. He knew what was happening. He couldn't stop. Tears started streaming down his cheeks as he buried his head between his knees. Sobbing quietly, he hated it, how he felt, how just the memories would affect him greatly like that. He felt so weak. So unworthy. Damaged and broken.

All he thinks about is that place. That family. The curses and the pain. Burns and cries. His brother screaming. It still rings in his ears. His memories run like a never-ending fountain, repeating and getting vivid. He was almost sure she's just waiting behind the corner, in the darkness, for him. Waiting to unleash her wrath once more.

He just wanted to stop. He didn't know-how. He thought about obliviation a lot. But deemed it too risky. If it went wrong, he'd forget about the best thing that happened in his miserable life. He will learn to live with all this pain eventually. He has to. He can't give up. He can't be a disappointment. Remus needs him, and he can't let him down. Not now, not ever. He has to do something right. He figures it must be Remus, the man he adores and loves so much. More than himself. The man who looked past Sirius's family and heritage, rudeness and arrogance, and his insecurities and loved him for who he is. He pleaded to himself not to mess it up. He can't trust himself. He did it once before, could've caused his fiancé now to get put down like a wild animal because of his stupid brain and idiotic rivalry. Yet, he forgave him, when Sirius didn't think he deserves a second chance.

He doesn't know how long he'd stayed curled up upon himself sobbing until he felt a blanket wrap around him, the couch sinking and arms, warm arms pulling him in. He went stiff, Remus squeezed him even closer, resting his chin on his head. His hands moving up and down Sirius' back. "Sirius, you're here, here in my arms. Not there." He kept repeating it till he felt his body relaxing, but still crying, with sound now.

"It's okay, love. You're safe here. She's dead. She can't hurt you. Nothing will hurt you." Remus kept soothing him, one hand traveled up to his hair while the other still rested on his back. Sirius let out a mess of incoherent words muffled by crying and tired breathing. Remus could only translate the word 'sorry'.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. I'm just merely taking care of my soon to be husband in one of his tough times." He kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Sirius," Remus whispered, closing his eyes. He just held him close for a while, just silence except the sniffles coming from Sirius. Soon enough, his breath evened. He stopped crying and just snuggled closer to his man. Remus smiled, cradled his face, and made him look up to him. It was dark but Remus could see Sirius's features. That gorgeous face that made him fall head over heels. The face he loves waking up too. The eyes he sees every transformation. The face he wants to keep looking at, every day for the rest of his life.

"Hey there." He leaned and left a kiss of his nose. Sirius felt blood rush to his cheeks, he was so vulnerable. This isn't the first time he's been like that. He made quite the show. Especially when Remus, who has gashes and bones broken, has to get up and comfort him. He hated how he's not strong. He feels guilty. And he knows it's not right, all that he's feeling. He knows that it's give and take, ups and downs. He's aware that they share the relationship and it's normal to have to pick your partner up sometimes. Remus seems to read his mind. Because he leans in again and kisses his tear-stained cheeks, his eyes, his forehead and trails kisses down to the corner of his mouth. "I'll always be here. You'll never have to go through anything alone. Not as long as I'm alive and breathing. I love you so damn much, Padfoot.".

"I love you too." Sirius only let out a whisper, which Remus surely heard, his voice was hoarse and raw.

"Come with me to bed then." Remus clasped his hand and got up from the couch pulling Sirius with him. They entered the bedroom, Remus sat on the bed with a groan that he didn't mean to escape from his mouth. Sirius sat next to him and gently pushed him down on the bed, and laid next to him. "I'm sorry. You're hurt" He said. Remus was on his side, eyeing him. "You're hurt, too." He said, with a yawn. "It's not the same." Sirius retorted back. "Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna let my baby boy have a panic attack and sit still." Those soft words warmed Sirius' heart. "Remus..." he trailed off, not really knowing what to say. Remus just hummed in response closing his eyes, scooting closer to rest his head on the man's shoulder. He tangled their legs and arms together.

"Good night, Moony."