Random OneShots

That's all I need to know

By: Engie_Ivy on Ao3

Wolfstar

~~~~

"Excuse me, sir." Sirius walks up to the man who just participated in the research project he's working on. "I'd like to give you our contact information, so you can reach us in case you have any questions about the progress of the research." Sirius moves to hand the man their card, but he's startled upon noticing the man's reaction and pulls back.

The man seems completely frozen in place, all the colour drained from his face, his wide eyes staring at Sirius intently, stunned and shocked. Those large, amber eyes... Sirius finds those eyes compelling for some reason. Despite that the way the man is looking at him is anything but comforting, Sirius oddly enough sees a kind of comfort in those eyes.

He shakes it off.

"Are you alright, sir?" He asks worriedly. Werewolves often regard Healers with suspicion, and with good reason, as most 'research projects' into Lycanthropy so far have been ill-veiled attempt at identification and control, but the study Sirius is conducting with Damocles Belby is really aimed at finding a way to make their transformations more bearable. "They drew quite a lot of blood, so if you're feeling light-headed, I can give you some Blood-Replenishing Potion if you whish."

The man opens and closes his mouth a few times without any sound coming out. "No," he eventually says, scraping his throat. "No, thank you. I'm fine."

Despite the distress Sirius still hears in his voice, his voice sounds warm, and that odd comfort Sirius saw in his eyes he hears in his voice. For some reason, it reminds Sirius of fireplaces, chocolate and honey. He thinks he feels something stir deep inside his chest, but a moment later it's gone, and he assigns it to his relief that the man won't be fainting on him.

"Good to hear," Sirius smiles, and he hands the man the card containing the contact information. Their hands brush for a short moment. The man pulls his hand back as if burned.

Sirius tilts his head to the side. "Do I know you? If I'm supposed to recognize you, please don't take it personal. It happens to me more often..."

"No," the man says immediately. "No, you don't know me." He averts his eyes, not looking at Sirius anymore.

"Alright then," Sirius says. "Well, thank you again for your participation, sir. Have a nice day!"

He turns to walk away, but suddenly, the man asks "Are you a Healer?"

Sirius turns around, surprised but pleased, as the man hadn't seemed like he was interested in making conversation. "Yes! Well, I will be, hopefully. I'm a Trainee Healer. I started my training a bit late." He shrugs. "First there was the war, and after the war things were... rough, for a while." Sirius shudders to remember those dark days right after the war, how lost he had felt, that inexplicable emptiness inside... He waves his hand. "But I reckon it was for everyone."

"And now?" The man asks softly. He's looking at Sirius again, staring at him like he's searching for something. "How are things now? Are you happy?"

Sirius blinks, caught off guard by this sudden question. "Yes," he says hesitantly, while thinking about it. "Yes," he repeats with more confidence as he smiles. "Yes, I suppose I can say that I am."

"Good," the man whispers as he regards Sirius, some sort of melancholic resignation in his eyes. "Good. That's all I need to know."

And with that, the man turns around and walks away, leaving Sirius to stare after him in confusion. Those amber eyes will continue to plague his thoughts for days to come.

5 years earlier

"Stop saying it's okay!" Remus shouts. "It's not okay! None of this is okay! You're working a shitty job you hate, to pay for this shitty house, that we will be kicked out off by the end of the week, and we still don't have a clue where we can go this time."

Sirius steps closer and cups his face in his hands. "Hey, listen to me. I know things are hard right now, but we'll figure it out, okay? Together."

Remus just stares at him. "You deserve so much better..."

"You want to spare me pain, right?" Sirius asks, looking determined.

Remus just nods.

"Well, then you should now that nothing will ever hurt me more than you leaving me. So in that case, I guess you have no choice but to stay with me forever."

Remus wants nothing more than to smile and accept those terms, and allow himself to lean into Sirius' touch, but then his eye falls on the rejection letter from St Mungo's still lying on the kitchen table. They don't trust werewolves, they don't trust someone close to werewolves, and they don't let someone whom they don't trust to work in the hospital. Really, Remus should've seen it coming.

"It was your dream..." Remus whispers.

"It was a dream," Sirius says firmly. "And so is getting to spend the rest of my life with you. So let me tell you, Moony. If I have to give up on one of those dreams, then I'm damned glad it was the first!"

Remus is sitting in an uncomfortable chair in the hospital's hallway. From the corner of his eye, he can see Lily rushing up to him.

"Remus! James just told me! How...?"

"The Death-Eaters attacked three against one," Remus' voice sounds flat, emotionless. "He got hit by a Confundus and an Obliviate charm at the exact same time."

Lily presses her hand to her mouth. "His memories...?"

"All gone," Remus replies flatly. "They say it's permanent."

Lily closes her eyes for a moment, but when she opens them, they are full of determination. "It's going to be okay. He's got us. We're going to help him with everything he has forgotten. We're going to help him get through this, Remus."

"Could you please give me a moment?" Remus asks.

"Of course." Lily briefly places a hand on his shoulder before walking off.

Remus' lycanthropy has been weighing him down. Not just the physical strain, but also the mental toll and the stress.

Sirius wanted to help him carry the burden, but Remus fears that the burden is too heavy even for two, and that in the end, it will crush them both.

'Nothing will ever hurt me more than you leaving me.'

But that's not true anymore, is it? Remus leaving won't hurt Sirius if Sirius doesn't even remember Remus was there to begin with.

It's a chance, Remus realises. Sirius can have a better life with someone who actually deserves him, without the loss and the pain of the separation.

And Remus' own loss and pain? Well, that's a price he'll gladly pay for Sirius' happiness.

Feeling numb, Remus gets up from his chair and starts to walk away. He doesn't look back as he walks out of Sirius' life forever.