Random OneShots

You're perfect, James

By: OphieExiled on Ao3

Jegulus

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The tears that were forming in James's eyes while he layed in his bed made him sick. He hated crying, all it brought was pity and people who didn't actually care for him. The last time James cried in front of his friends they panicked. The "bright, happy, sunshine boy" was crying.

      He loved his friends, he really did. He loved the random thoughts that Sirius had, the comforting scent of chocolate from Moony, and the warm sarcasm from Peter. But they didn't always understand him. James always felt like he had to be happy all the time, and that made him sad. The only person that didn't make him feel like that was Regulus, but James had never told him about his struggles.

      He stood up as tears fell from his eyes. He needed to get out of the common room before he broke down. Moony and Padfoot were already asleep, and Wormy was drifting off. James moved quickly, pulling on his shoes quietly and trying to slip out without waking his friends. "Are you going somewhere, Prongs?" Peter asked drowsily. James stiffened, but he managed to croak out, "Bathroom." He grabbed his cloak and left.

      As he was speed walking to the astronomy tower, the tears fell fast. Once he made it to the tower he stopped hiding. He collapsed down the wall, sobs leaving his mouth. His breathing came fast and his face was buried in his hands. He wanted his boyfriend, but he didn't know how to explain this to him.

      Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around him, "It's okay, love. Let it out," Regulus's voice was soft. James leaned into his boyfriend's arms and could't help sobbing even harder. "I'm sorry," He sobbed. "James, don't apologize for being upset. You're allowed to be sad, baby." James just nodded into his chest. "Alright, deep breaths, love. Match my breathing," Regulus said. James took deep breaths, following the lead of Regulus's chest.

      "Do you want to talk about this, sweetheart? You don't have to," Regulus asked with a soft voice. James was in his lap with his head buried into his shoulder, the boy shook his head, "Not yet." Regulus just nodded and held the boy tighter.

      After a little while, James spoke up, "Sometimes I feel like my only purpose is to please other people," his voice was hoarse, "I get overwhelmed sometimes and my friends don't know how to handle it. I feel emotions too and for some reason they can't comprehend that I get sad as well, so I hide it from them." Regulus couldn't help himself and kissed his lover. "James, you are allowed to have feelings. You can't control how you feel and you never, ever, have to apologize for feeling your emotions. All I can suggest is for you to discuss this with your friends. They care so much for you, and if you tell them how you really feel they'll understand. You're perfect, James," Regulus said, kissing the crown of his boyfriend's head. "I will eventually, but for now, just hold me?" James asked in a small voice. Regulus wrapped his arms around James, "Okay, James. I love you so much." James smiled, "I love you too, thank you, Reg."