Random OneShots

It's you

By: Bowiebaby on Ao3

Clay Jensen x Tony Padilla

~~~~

Tony sighed as he took in the view. The city looked so small from up here; just a sea of glittering lights and rushing cars. He liked coming up here, it put a lot of his life into perspective. When things got too much, when he got too caught up in the high school drama despite trying his best not to, he came up here and looked at all the glittering lights and realised how small it all really was. The night was cool and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, scuffing his feet on the gravel beneath his heavy combat boots.

He turned at the sound of his car door being slammed shut and his eyebrows rose in surprise at Clay striding towards him like he had all of hell's demons on his tail.

"You knew," he said, pointing accusingly at Tony as he neared, "you knew all along."

This was not at all how he expected him to react to his tape.

"Knew what? What did I know?"

"That all of this was my fault!"

That surprised Tony. When he had first listened to Clay's tape, he had been contemplating what this boy could have possibly done to upset Hannah. He was quiet and awkward but Tony had never seen a malicious molecule in his boy. He seemed harmless and when Hannah said his name did not belong on the tapes, Tony had felt a strange amount of relief wash over him. Then, when it was Clay's turn to listen to the tapes, he had been anxious for Clay to get to his, he wanted his friend to smile a little again, tired of seeing him carry around the weight of guilt for Hannah's death. He had hoped that hearing his tape would be good for him, let him know that he was not to blame, that he had been that little bit of light in Hannah's dark days.

Clearly, Clay was reacting the complete opposite.

He was panicking. His eyes were wide and his face was flushed and he was throwing his arms around him as he spoke. Tony had to calm him down, help him understand that he was not to blame for this.

"How did I know that?"

"I just – I just left Hannah, I just left her there and I sh-I should have – she needed me and I walked away"

"You were doing what she told you to do."

"No! I ran! I was scared, I thought it was something I had done or something I didn't understand because I'm this fucking loser that doesn't know anything about girls, or about life, or about anything"

Tony could have laughed, could have screamed at Clay for this. He couldn't possibly blame himself for this, he was the last person that deserved any kind of blame.

"So all of this is your fault?" he asked incredulously.

Clay looked at him like he was mad, his movements more aggressive, his eyes watering and cheeks flushing, "I left! And I knew I shouldn't have left and then Bryce raped Jessica -"

Tony ground his teeth, "no."

"- And Hannah saw it and then Sherri knocked down the stop sign and then Jeff died and it all started with me!"

"Clay-"

But he wasn't listening anymore. He was walking away, staggering to the edge of the cliff, too close to the edge.

"Clay I think you got to get back from that edge"

He scoffed, turning to face him, his shoulders sagged in defeat, his voice full of a tone that chilled Tony's blood. He was still gesturing about with his hands and Tony felt like he could throw up with how carelessly he dangled to the edge, ready to slip at any second.