Random OneShots

I'm not a bloody saint!

By: jamespottermybeloved on Ao3

Jegulus

~~~~~

James was so glad that Regulus had been a spy for the order. He didn't know what would've happened if they hadn't caught Peter. He didn't want to know but here he was, Peter Pettigrew, in all his glory, sitting in front of the order, restraints holding his wrists, ankles, torso, and knees down so that there was no way he could leave.

"Pete," James started. "I only want to know how long you've been with them. That's it." Pete didn't look like his normal self, he looked crueler.

"I started learning about it in sixth, joined in seventh," he said, smirking. His friends looked sad but he only felt one emotion— anger. Burning hot rage.

"What the fuck Pete? Why in the world did you betray us?" James yelled. He snapped. "What the fuck did we do to you? Huh? We didn't leave you out, we didn't do anything! Yeah, you may have missed some of the things we did but that was because you were apparently hanging out with Death Eaters? So, why the everloving hell did you do this?"

"You never saw my potential! You always left me out of plans and I was always the tag-along. You were all stuck up assholes who refused to see that I had more to offer than my loyalty!"

"Obviously you have no fucking loyalty," James snapped. "We were brothers! We knew that you were more than that! You refused to be any more than that. Don't take your insecurities and turn them around to blame them on us. That's fucking wrong and just untrue." His friends were staring at him in shock and Peter looked at him, seemingly impressed.

"Don't act like I was the only one keeping secrets Potter," Pete snapped back, daring a glance at Regulus who was standing in the corner looking impassive.

"Keep your eyes off of him, you filthy rat," James whispered. "Do not bring my fiance into this. We kept our relationship secret because we were surrounded by bloody psychopaths who doubled as homophobes. Shut the fuck up about things you don't understand Pettigrew."

"You know he's a death eater too, right? He got the mark his seventh year, the week after I got it," he said.

"I got it on Dumbledore's orders," Regulus replied coolly. "Asshole." At that moment, as if he was summoned by the speaking of his name, Dumbledore walked in.

"Unfortunately we've got to give him to the ministry now," he announced.

"Good riddance," James muttered. Pete raised an eyebrow.

"You would've made a good death eater," he said evenly.

" GET THE FUCK OUT! " James roared, making everyone except Regulus flinch at the pure, uncensored fury in his voice. Dumbledore roughly pulled him out of the room. Once he was gone James backed up into the wall and slid down, putting his head in between his knees. He didn't know what to do so, as every sane person did, he surrounded his friends with a shield before shattering everything in the room that he could.

"James–" Sirius started. "You need to calm down, mate. He's gone."

"You guys are so fucking ignorant sometimes," James said.

"Look I know you're mad but don't insult us," Remus snapped.

" NO ," James yelled. "I'm so fucking tired of you all pretending that I'm a bloody saint! Surprise! I'm not! I'm a fucking human being who has feelings and is like you! Just because I seem so bloody happy all the time doesn't mean my feelings are all sunshine and rainbows. "

"James," Lily spoke up from where she was sitting next to Mary. "We know you're upset but you aren't... as bad of a person as you're making yourself out to be."

"I'VE TORTURED PEOPLE LILY! SURPRISE! I'VE KILLED AND NOT FELT AN MILLILITER OF REGRET. You all just refuse to see that I'm not a saint. So stop pretending that I just don't feel anything! I do! Just like you!"

"James," Regulus mumbled. He had moved to sit next to him at some point. "Love, I think they get it." James' vision cleared and saw that his friends looked shocked, a few even looked frightened.

"Fuck," he muttered, his hands going to his hair and seemingly pulling on it.

"Love, no," Regulus murmured, his hands going to take James' out of his hair. "Don't pull your hair out." James nodded slightly and removed them from his hair, instead interlocking his fingers with Regulus'.

"James, we know you aren't perfect." Mary said. "We just aren't used to seeing you like this."

"Yeah because when I try to talk to any of you, you somehow always bring the conversation away from what I'm trying to tell you and make it about you. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but it's true. And you know what? I've tried to tell you this before! So many bloody times! But every single time you change the topic before I can bring it up. It's like you try to make me just bottle it up. So I'm so sorry if you think that my reaction was unjustified and if you do, respectfully, fuck you." With that James stood and apparated away.

"He isn't wrong," Regulus commented, standing up and brushing off nothing from his trousers.

"Why didn't he say something though?" Sirius asked, miserably.

"He tried to! Bloody hell you're thick. The last time he tried to Lily and Mary somehow thought that cutting him off to announce that they were planning to adopt would be appropriate. And before that Sirius and Remus announced that they were engaged. Every single fucking time! And it's not like he could continue after that because he's too bloody sweet to say anything." And with that Regulus apparated after his fiance.