Random OneShots

Utterly Unhealthy

By: ThatFilmGraduate on Ao3

Wolfstar

~~~~~

It all started when Sirius Black, in search of a book for his boyfriend, overheard a conversation between two sixth year Ravenclaws in the Library:

"Do you ever think he gets embarrassed?" one asked: a blonde with a nasally voice and a horrid, seemingly perpetual sneer on her face.

"Who?" the other responded: a brunette with a dopey voice and a dopier expression.

"Lupin."

"Why, because of the limp? I don't fink so."

"No," the blonde snapped, "Because of Black."

It was this that made Sirius abandon his search for Repellents and Other Useful Charms and listen in to the conversation properly, leaning against one of the tall bookcases to hear them better.

"Sirius Black is super fit," the brunette pointed out. "Why would Lupin be embarrassed by him?"

"Because he is so clingy," the blonde replied haughtily. "It must be so annoying. I mean, every time I see Lupin, Black is practically hanging off him and he just looks so done, you know? Like he wishes he were anywhere else."

The brunette took a second to ponder this, and so did Sirius.

He thought about his behaviour around Remus Lupin, his best mate of over six years and boyfriend of seven months, and he couldn't think of a time where he wasn't latched onto the other wizard in some way or other. Even when they were just friends, he would sit in Remus's lap or run his hands through Remus's hair or sleep on Remus's shoulder. He wondered if Remus found that – him – annoying. 'Done' was his boyfriend's default expression, but what if it wasn't? What if it was actually because Remus had always found him and his constant touches annoying?

"I suppose," the brunette replied eventually. "But he would stop it, right? If he found it intolerable."

"Would he, though?" the blonde posed sceptically.

The brunette just shrugged in response and Sirius frowned, wondering: would he?

"All I'm saying is that I would be absolutely mortified if Devon acted like that around me," the blonde added. "I don't think I could handle it, to be honest. I mean, could you?"

"No, I suppose it would get exhausting after a while," the brunette acquiesced. There was a second of silence before: "Hey, did you hear about Elisha Vrucings? Her and Gilliam Wiley were caught getting off together in the classroom on the third floor."

"No way!"

As the conversation moved on, so did Sirius.

He moved along the aisle, a deep frown on his handsome face as their words cycled around his brain, bringing out some hitherto unknown insecurities and making him feel and think all sorts of awful things. He quickly found Repellents and Other Useful Charms and checked it out before he left the Library and took a slow walk back to Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius made it back to the Tower roughly twenty minutes later. He had taken his time on the way back to his House, trying to rationalise and simultaneously ignore the callous anxieties rising within him.

He was not used to such dark and downright cruel thoughts clouding his mind. Not about Remus, anyhow. He had insecurities, of course. Everyone did, and he was not infallible, but he had always been so sure about Remus and their feelings for one another that he had never had cause to wonder. But hearing the opinion of others had given birth to something hideous and sinister: a new fear – one that he certainly didn't need.