Pools of love (Gwenpool x male reader)

Shit on a plate

Y/n and Man-Thing watch Gwen's introduction from their pen below the arena.

Y/n: Who do you think the defender's gonna be?

Man-Thing: Mojo describes them as a skill class fighter. He categorises his prisoners into six different classes depending on their attributes: skill, science, mutant, cosmic, mystic and tech. There are a number of admirable skill fighters in his collection.

Y/n: But if you had to guess...

Mojo: Alright, I've kept you waiting for long enough. Please welcome our defender: Clint Barton A.K.A Ronin!

A man in a ninja-esque costume bursts through his gate in a series of flips and rolls, digging his feet into the blue sand to halt himself. The crowd unanimously cheers for him as he gives no reaction.

Mojo: Now, for first time viewers I will explain the rules. Rule number one: no killing or dismemberment. That's it!

Gwen despairs at her fun being taken away from her.

Mojo: Fighters! Ready yourselves...

Ronin stands in a controlled stance with his single katana in hand, Gwen readies two pink pistols and jumps up and down to limber up.

Mojo: BEGIN!

Gwen fires her pistols at Barton who dodges almost all of her shots. Those bullets he does not dodge are sliced straight through by his sword.

Gwenpool: Someone's seen X-Men Origins!

Ronin closes in on Gwen as he avoids harm which culminates in a swing that Gwen is just barely able to roll over. Gwen pulls out two katanas of her own and begins sword fighting with him.

Mojo: Gwenpool could have the advantage here! Dual wielding is a high risk, high reward strategy.

Y/n: Come on Gwen...

Ronin knocks one of Gwen's swords away which evens the odds slightly. Now that they each have one sword: Clint begins to gain the advantage. In fact: he manages to kick Gwen back into the wall. He swings his sword at her but she rolls under it and moves into the centre of the arena.

Mojo: Gwenpool appears to be on the backfoot, will she bring the fight back home?

Y/n: She better.

Y/n has his legs hanging over the pit for comfort, he earlier threw down a torch holder that Man-Thing could mount on the wall so his pit could be illuminated hands-free.

Man-Thing: What are the conditions of your release?

Y/n: Gwen's gotta beat five dudes and that starry guy.

Man-Thing: Ægon.

Y/n: Right, keep forgetting his name.

Man-Thing: Mojo offers this deal to every new fighter, they never achieve it. Some make it to the fight with Ægon, though he is by all accounts unbeatable.

Y/n: Thanks for the optimism.

A small hatch in the stone walls open and two trays are pushed through, mimicking how a prisoner would receive food in solitary confinement. It was clear which was for Y/n and which was for Man-Thing.

Y/n: Oh my God... is that shit on a plate?

Y/n catches the smell quickly and begins to retch in the corner.

Man-Thing: Please do not vomit on my meal.

Y/n manages to hold his breath long enough to push Man-Thing's 'food' down the pit. He hears the abhorrent sounds of the swamp monster shovelling the waste into his mouth.

Y/n: Right, plants eat fertiliser.

It was only then that Y/n took the time to gaze over his own tray. Inside a bowl was a grey mixture that resembled porridge in it's texture. Y/n reluctantly took at spoonful to see what it tasted like, the meal had now smell, no flavour. He might as well have been eating paste.

Y/n: What is this stuff?

Man-Thing: Everything the body needs, though I don't think any of Mojo's lackeys enjoy it.

Y/n: I'm not his lackey.

Back in the coliseum: Gwen launches a rocket at Clint who manages to dodge it but severely loses his balance.

Mojo: A cheap trick from Gwenpool! You love to see it.

She fires another but Ronin sidesteps it- not falling for the same trick twice. He clicks a button on the handle of his blade, Gwen watches on as his short-range weapon becomes a bow.

Mojo: Ronin has engaged ranged combat!

From the quiver on his back: Clint fires arrows at Gwen. She dodges them with relative ease although those that detonate cause her a little trouble. Gwen responds by throwing a smoke bomb on the ground and fleeing in the thick coating.

Mojo: Gwenpool has deployed a smoke bomb, I wonder what her next move will be.

Barton stares into the fog, only to be met with a flying kick to the face. Gwen follows this up with another kick to the stomach and a short series of punches.

Man-Thing: Is she winning? I can't see from down here.

Y/n: It looks like it, yeah.

Gwen throws some of the dyed sand in Clint's eyes to disoriented him before throwing him over her shoulder to boisterous cheers from the crowd. Ronin lands on his stomach and Gwen would press her foot against his back every time he made an attempt to get up.

Mojo: Gwenpool wins!

White and pink smoke grenades go off in the air that commemorate her costume colours and mark her victory. Gwen cheers along with the audiences and performs a victory dance.

Y/n: She did it! Only five more to go!

Man-Thing: I hope you are successful in returning home.

The kind gesture from the bulk raised a point Y/n had not considered, he leans his head over the pit so that he may make eye contact with Man-Thing.

Y/n: What about you?

Man-Thing: Mojo will see to it that I spend the rest of my days in this pit. He and I are millennia old, though he decelerates his ageing. I will outlive generations more of my 'caretakers'.

Y/n: How does he do that?

Man-Thing: He forced a team of Reed Richards' to build a temporal bubble around his commentary box which also happens to be his personal quarters. While he is there he does not age, and as you may have guessed: he has not left that room in a long while.

Y/n: So he's a discord admin?

Man-Thing: What is a discord admin?

Y/n: Never mind, you don't think you'll ever escape?

Man-Thing: I think it is highly unlikely.

Y/n: We'll you'd be wrong, I'm gonna bust you out of here... as soon as I get busted out of here.

Outside the door stands Ægon, listening in to their conversation. He later reports this to Mojo.

Mojo. HA! Yeah, that'll happen. No one beats you, Ægon. You're the master of one-v-one combat. We've got nothing to worry about.

Ægon: But... the beast spoke.

This gets Mojo's heckles raised, his grin fades for the first time in years as he looks to his starry gladiator with a dangerous expression.

Mojo: Get a new caretaker if they talk about it again, and don't kill the human if you can help it. We want to at the very least pretend to be keeping our promise to that pink idiot.