Embracing the Cold

Chapter 39

And true enough, around 4 PM when Bryce arrived with lasagna, pizza and chicken. I didn't realize I was this much hungry.

Nagpalit muna siya ng pambahay bago kami kumain. Kahit gaano ka-pogi ang taong to, kita ko pa rin ang pagod sa mukha niya. Nakangiti siya pero halata mong may problema.

Tahimik kaming kumain.
I'm in my last slice of pizza when I couldn't help my question.

"Anong problema?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko. He's drinking water when I asked that. Inubos niya muna ang tubig sa baso bago ako sinagot.

"Same old Burgos, negative." Umiling siya at tumitig sa akin.

"Anong negative? Hindi pa ba siya makukulong?" Gulat kong tanong. Just when I thought the end is near. Umiling ulit siya.

"I'm still trying to get in touch with his wife. Negative rin." Sagot niya. Natahimik ako, nag-iisip.

"How about Melis? Did she provide you some information?" Tanong ko.

"She did, but not enough." Sagot niya. Tumango ako.

"How about Paulo? Have you tried reaching out to him?" Tanong ko ulit. Thinking of every way we can to let that old man down. Lakas talaga ng kapit.

"I did, he said he'll make sure his dad go to jail. I trust him but trusting him doesn't mean we don't do anything. Right now, I'm trying to think of ways to get Burgos down." Paliwanag niya. Tumango ulit ako. Nag-aalala.

"We can't be seen in public yet. I'm sorry.." hinging-paumanhin niya. Kita sa mga mata ang pagod. Tumango ako at malungkot na ngumiti.

"Where are you staying?" Pag-iiba ko sa usapan. So much for thinking about that Burgos. We'll get him down.

"Sa guest room," simpleng sagot niya. Ngayon ay nakasandal sa upuan at tinitingnan ako.

"I mean, where do you sleep? Eat? And change clothes? Umuuwi ka ba sa inyo?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong. Naguguluhan siyang tumitig sa akin.

"Here, sa guest room. I would leave at 6 AM and come home around 1 AM." Simple niyang paliwanag, nakakunot ang noo. Nanlalaki ang mata ko sa narinig.

"What? So you barely even sleep?!" Gulat kong tanong. Napailing ako. "Why are you doing that? That's not good for you." Nag-aalalang sabi ko. Napangisi naman siya sa inasta ko.

"3-4 hours maximum sleep ko. Also, I've been staying here since I bought this. I always make sure to get home, to see you're safe," nakangiti niyang sagot.

Hindi ako makapaniwala. I thought he wasn't staying here. So that explains the breakfast I already have once I wake up? I thought he would just pass by here everyday to eat and go to their home. I never thought he's been staying here all this time.

"Gulat na gulat ka naman," mahina siyang tumawa. "Sanay na ako." Dugtong niya. Napatingin ako sa kanya at umiling.

"Why?" Walang ibang lumabas sa bibig ko.

Nagkibit-balikat siya, "Work," wala lang na sagot niya. Hindi naman kasi halata sa gwapo niyang mukha na kulang siya sa tulog, pagod pa.
Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Nagu-guilty ako. The past months, I've been thinking ill of him, cursing his name, and invalidating his feelings. Sobrang guilty ako. Why did I even think na makakaya niya akong lokohin? He courted me for so long, walang palya. Ngayong naggrow kami, nawalan lang siya ng time, pinag-isipan ko na siya ng masama. I'm so guilty. I want to hug him right now just to let him feel I'll be here pero nahihiya ako.

"What are you thinking?" Nagsalubong ang dalawang kilay niya, nakacross arm pa, nakasandal sa upuan habang seryoso akong pinagmamasdan. "I've been telling you not to overthink," dugtong niya. Tinitigan ko siya. He's acting strong, again.