Closer than Ever

Chapter 2 - Dawn of Insight

Why is moving to a new city always so frantic? I don't even have that much stuff. A man with a little blue pickup truck is taking my boxes of books, my suitcase, my instruments, and my few bits of furniture to Seoul for me, so I just have to bring my overnight bag and the cat carrier onto the bus.

I had a farewell luncheon earlier today, which was tough. I am going to miss my colleagues and students here. Since then, I have been up most of the night, cleaning the apartment and having anxiety attacks. What if this is a huge mistake? What if I'm terrible at song-writing now? I used to do it quite a bit when I was in college, but that was six or eight years ago. What have I gotten myself into?

Suddenly I search through my handbag for my phone. I peel off the case and remove the stickers of my favorite BTS member inside. It just seems too weird to have them in there when I'm actually going to be working with the members. How mortifying would it be if he saw them? Am I even allowed to still be an ARMY and have a bias, if I'm working for BTS?

I decide to get a few hours of sleep, since my mind is now worrying about such random topics.

In the morning, I feed Luthien, really hoping that she won't need a litter box until we get to the new place. As soon as she has had a couple of mouthfuls of food, she darts as far under the double bed as possible. I forgot to ask the BigHit staff what kind of furnishings will be provided in the new place. Will I have a bed tonight? If not, I will just think of it as camping.

My taxi pulls up outside, so I crawl on my belly under the bed and snag Luthien, who howls in fury and lashes out with her claws. I scruff her as gently as I can without losing her, stuff her into the carrier tail-first and slam it closed. Of course, all of my bandages and antiseptic gel are already packed and trundling toward Seoul in the back of a blue truck. I grab hand sanitizer from my purse and squirt it on the deepest scratches.

By the time we get to Seoul, the cat has howled and hissed so continuously that I change her name to Lucifer. I decide to go ahead and spend some money on a taxi all the way to the apartment, rather than taking my furry little Beelzebub on two different subway lines.

We're only about a block from the apartment when she suddenly lets loose and urinates all over the carrier, the taxi's backseat, and my pants. I panic, telling the cabbie to stop and let us out. As I pull the cat carrier out of the car door, I throw an extra 40,000 won on the front seat and tell him "for cleaning!" before slamming it closed.

"C'mon, Old Scratch, you little devil," I say to the cat, laughing bitterly at my own cleverness. Mortified and covered in piss, I studiously avoid making eye contact with anyone on the sidewalk.

I sigh with relief as I key in the code for the apartment door's lock. Looking around, I note gratefully that there's a double bed with a brand new mattress, still in its plastic cover, in the bedroom. There is also a dining set, a sofa, and a TV stand with a television. I free Luthien from her carrier and set out the little cardboard travel litter box I brought from Pohang, but of course she doesn't need it now.

Groaning in disgust, I strip off my stinky clothes, throw them in the washing machine out on the enclosed balcony, then go inside to shower. Thank goodness I packed a change of clothes in my overnight bag. Someone has thoughtfully placed a wrapped bar of body soap on the soap tray, and I bless them as I wash off the cat pee.

I am standing in the bathtub trying to drip-dry because I don't have any towels here yet when I hear my phone chime. An unfamiliar Seoul number comes up, with the text message, Hello, this is Kim Taehyung. Human Resources gave me your number, I hope that's OK. Have you arrived yet? Are you going to come to work today?

I panic, because it feels really weird to be naked while having a text conversation with Kim Taehyung. Sorry, I can't, I have to wait at the apartment until the truck with my furniture and things shows up, and then help the driver unload it.