Closer than Ever

Chapter 53 - First Christmas

Taehyung and I sit down on the floor in front of the Christmas tree to open our gifts. I have gifts from my parents, Emily, and Caleb, plus one from the whole Pohang gang. There are also two under the tree from Tae, one big and one small. He doesn't have any gifts from family, which makes me a bit sad, but I guess it's not a tradition for them. He has bagged gifts from Jin, Hobi, and Jimin, though. I also got him two, which makes me smile - we didn't discuss it, but both settled on two!

I can't stand the anticipation, so I insist that Tae open one of his presents from me first. It's a navy blue Ralph Lauren scarf with the heritage bear embroidered on it. He notices the love letter that I tucked into the box with the scarf and looks at me in shy surprise. He unfolds it and reads:

'My dearest Winter Bear, Kim Taehyung,

I know that I'm not always very good at telling you how much you mean to me. I hope you know that you are the only person I'm thinking of, when I write a love song. I also hope you know that I consider myself the luckiest person on Earth, because somehow you are in my life. How did this even happen? I don't understand it, and it seems like a dream to me much of the time.

Phew, this is difficult! Ha ha. OK. Here's my truth. My heart beats faster and I feel happy whenever you walk into a room. Even if you were only gone for a minute. The way you dance is mesmerizing, except when you're being silly, and then it's hilarious. 😂 Your voice is my favorite sound in the whole world, better than bellbirds singing, better than waterfalls thundering, better than Bulgarian close-harmony choral music. One smile from you makes my whole day 1000% better, and your laughter heals my soul.

You are sweet and thoughtful, brilliant and creative, sexy and goofy, always surprising but also my comfort zone. You are my home. I don't know what I've done to deserve you, to be honest. I feel like you're really too much, too good, too amazing, to be with someone like me. But I love you with my heart and soul, and I hope that this will be just the first of a lifetime of Christmases that we spend together.

I will try to be better about telling you these things, Tae. These thoughts are often on my mind, and I know I should share them with you. I want you to know that you are the only man in the world for me, and already I can't imagine my life without you. Merry Christmas, my love, and let's spend a Happy New Year together!

Forever yours,

Your Songbird'

Tae reads it twice, reverently refolds the letter, kisses it, and tucks it into the shirt pocket over his heart. Then he wraps the scarf around his neck. When he raises his eyes to look at me, they're brimming with tears. My eyes tear up as well, as he cups the back of my head in his hand and leans in to give me a kiss. I hear the camera shutter click as he takes a picture of us kissing. Laughing, I open my eyes, and then reach up to wipe the tear tracks off of his cheeks.

"I want to remember this moment forever," Tae says, smiling gently at me and pressing his hand to his shirt pocket. "Let's spend all the rest of our Christmases together, OK?"

"That sounds perfect, love," I say, smiling back at him.

"You know, I consider you to be too good for me, too. You're so sweet and smart and talented. You're cool and grounded, but really funny and sexy, too. I feel so calm and happy when you're around. I want to see the whole world together with you. You're my comfort zone, and I love you more than I can talk about."

I smile as he lapses into TaeTae speak at the end, and lean in to kiss him again.

"OK, Birdie, your turn! Open this big one from me!" Tae jumps up to bring me the gift, then sits down behind me and wraps me in a back-hug while I carefully ease open the wrapping paper.