With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-22-

Bucky's POV:

I woke up to the flash of a camera and Sam's ugly face over me.

What the fuck?

"Oh my God man..." He laughed, almost breathless. "I'm telling you, this is the best thing I've seen in months."

He actually looked like he was crying and I was slightly worried that he was going to piss himself in my bedroom.

"Seriously, what the fuck is going on right now?" I asked. 

My throat felt dry, so I reached over to grab a sip from the glass of water beside my bed when I got a fucking jump scare.

She. Did. Not.

I jumped straight out of bed and started storming to her room. 

That absolute bitch. She did not. Words could not describe how fucking mad I was, Tony better start planning her funeral because I was actually about to murder her. 

In ten minutes she was going to be dead

I was on my way to kill Y/n.

Prison? here I come.

I arrived outside her room and tried to open the door, but just my luck - it was locked. 

"UP!" I yelled. "GET YOUR ASS UP Y/N AND GET IT HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU TWICE" 

I was met with complete silence.

"GET THE FUCK UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!" I yelled again, beating against the door with my fist.

Still silent.

"Y/N L/N! OPEN THIS DOOR OR I'LL CHOKE YOU TO DEATH." I threatened.

"KINKY!" She yelled back through the door.

That's it. She's dead. RIP Y/n, I would say it was nice knowing you, but it wasn't.

I went to break the door down but found myself restrained by both Steve and Sam who were fighting to stop themselves from laughing their heads off.

This was not funny.

Y/n opened her door and glanced down at my arm before opening her mouth. "Oh, heya Barbie! Have you met my friend James? I think you two would get along." She grinned, pulling at the toggles on her hoodie. "Do you like your makeover Barnes?" She probed.

"I think you know the answer to that." I replied through gritted teeth.

"Well, Buck here might not appreciate your handiwork," began Sam, "But I'm loving it."

"I know!" She smiled, "It's just the pop of color he needs, right?"

"Yeah, It compliments his eyes." Mocked Steve.

Motherfuckers. 

"Woah!" Tony exclaimed, coming to find out what all the noise was, "What's happened to Elle Woods?"

They're all dead. I'm going to kill them all and then just live here with Peter.

"As much as I'm loving...this," Nat commented, gesturing to the pink monstrosity that was attached to me, "I do want to know what's going on."

I'm so glad everybody is here to witness this.

"How about you ask her?" I suggest, glaring at Y/n who was grinning enthusiastically and releasing myself from Steve and Sam's grips. They didn't fight me, apparently content that I wasn't going to try to murder Y/n.

"I have no clue what you're talking about, sorry Barnes!" She smiled.

"Bitch." I muttered, trying to ignore the flash of Sam's phone camera beside me.

--------------------

A week.

It's been a full week since 'The Barbification'. That's what Tony's been calling it. Other variations include 'The Pink Death', 'The Magenta Event-a' (that one is complete shit) and what has evidently turned out to be Y/n's favourite; 'The Pinker Soldier'.

I prefer to refer to it as 'The Thing'.

 Or not to talk about it at all, yeah, that works just fine for me.

It's been a week and although I've managed to wash all the paint off, I'm pretty sure some glitter got stuck in the joints because I now leave a faint glitter trail wherever I go. It's everywhere. Did I mention that it's been a week?

I was going to get her back. It was going to happen and it was going to be epic.

The only issue was that I have zero imagination, and I couldn't come up with anything.

Until one came to me.

I knew Y/n had a ridiculously low spice tolerance, like she finds peperoni pizza spicy so the next time it was my turn to make dinner? Ghost Pepper time.

I handed everyone their plates, leaving Y/n's until last and sat down to watch as everybody started to eat.

While I'll admit, you didn't have to be a genius to come up with my revenge plot, I was smarter than most people gave me credit for.

I hadn't covered her plate in spice, just her favourite part that she always saves until last before inhaling it at an alarmingly fast rate, so when she got to the end? That's exactly what happened.

Ugh, why do I know how she eats her meals?

Her face turned a bright red color and she reached desperately for her water glass. Her water glass that I had spiked with wasabi.

Once she realised that her drink wasn't going to help, she grabbed Nat's and chugged it at an impressive rate before reaching for Clint's as I smirked and walked out of the room.

Unimaginative revenge plot? Complete.

(810 Words)