With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-67-

Y/n's POV:

Nat and Wanda had finally convinced me to join the others for breakfast. Still wrapped in one of Bucky's hoodies, I sat silently while the team ate around me.

"Hey punk," A voice called down the hallway as the sound of steps approached the entrance to the room.

I didn't want to believe it.

"Do you know where that book went?" Bucky said, striding into the room and walking to Steve.

Bucky was here.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. BUCKY WAS BACK.

I ran up to him and threw my arms around him so hard that he stumbled back.

"Um...hello?" He said, while my face was pressed into his chest. "You good?"

"No, I'm not good!" I said, crying into his shirt. "I missed you so much. Oh my God."

A hesitant arm reached around me and started to move in small, slightly uncomfortable motions.

"You cannot leave again," I whispered into his body. "And you need to reply when I try to talk to you. I was falling apart here."

He didn't say anything in response.

"I hate you so much, Buck. So much."

Still silence.

Something was wrong. He felt...different. He was already acting off and stiffening up in my embrace.

"Y/n..." Wanda's voice called from behind me.

I pulled back from Bucky. Only to see a different person in his place.

Loki. Fucking. Laufeyson.

"I think I missed a couple of chapters," Loki spoke, this time in his regular, stick-in-ass tone of voice. "I thought you and Barnes couldn't stand each other."

My jaw ticked in anger. How dare he. How fucking dare he.

Steve gestured to whisper in Loki's ear, the confusion on Loki's face resolving into dread.

"Y/n...I..." He tried to explain, but I didn't want to hear it. Bucky was still gone, and the tiny spark of hope that had ignited in my chest when I saw him walk into the room had left my heart feeling ice cold as it extinguished.

I strode back to my seat and sat down where Nat poured me a glass of orange juice. My eyes didn't stray from the green giant near the head of the table.

"My brother wasn't aware of the current situation, Y/n. I'm sure he would like to apologize for his actions if you will permit him." Thor said, calmly.

"He's fine. There's no need." I replied, putting on a sour expression to hide the fact that I had just lost Bucky all over again.

Nat pushed the glass into my hand and encouraged me to take a sip, but the moment that the taste of the bitter juice filled my mouth, it made me want to throw up.

I rushed to the closest bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time as I heard Wanda and Nat's footsteps and voices behind me.

"Y/n?" Wanda asked, moving my hair out of my face while Nat rubbed my back in smooth, circular motions.

"Are you alright?" Nat asked, it was more of a courtesy question, I clearly wasn't.

Wanda smiled sympathetically and asked: "Was it something you ate? What did you have last night?"

"I haven't been able to keep anything down, not for the past week I think. I haven't been feeling too great." I replied truthfully. It was weird, looking back on it, I didn't think I was just feeling ill because of my nightmares (although they certainly hadn't helped).

Nat and Wanda exchanged concerned glances.

"No." I protested, "I know what you're thinking and you're wrong."

"Y/n/n..." Nat smiled softly at me.

"I can't be. We always used protection. Every time." I told them. "Especially after the scare a couple of months ago..."

"Were you with Bucky then?" Wanda asked.

I still hadn't told anybody the truth, they didn't know anything about us and I didn't want them to.

"Sort of...not really." I sighed, "I don't think so." 

"Y/n, " Nat said, setting the conversation back on course. "When was your last period?" 

I thought back, "When we had that pie-making contest, that was it."

"So about a month ago?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, I'm probably due," I said, pulling out the app on my phone: Last week.

Reading the expression on my face, Nat spoke up again, "You should take a test."

Yeah. I probably should.

"I've got some tests in our bathroom..." I mumbled under my breath, I hadn't wanted to have to ask them again after the last time or our secret might have been exposed.

-------------------

This was very familiar. I remembered being in a very similar position just a few months ago, that time I was begging for a negative test, this time I didn't know.

"How do you feel about it?" Wanda asked as we continued to wait.

"I don't know." I admitted, "If I am pregnant, then I don't know how I will do it without him, but I don't think I really want it to be negative. Like I said, I don't know."

"I get it, it must be-"

"I want to check it." I interrupted, unable to stand the wait any longer.

I walked over to them and looked.
Test 1: Negative.
Test 2: Negative.
Test 3: Positive.

"Guys..." I whispered, my voice and hands shaking, "What does that- What do I do?"

"Look, If you are pregnant then you can't be that far along, so the tests might be wrong." Nat told me.

"We'll get you an appointment with an obstetrician and we can find out for sure. Don't worry, we'll sort one out for you." Wanda offered. 

"Thank you." I whispered, almost choking on the words as another wave of grief washed over me. I wish he was here.

(893 Words)