With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-30-

Y/n's POV:

Lying next to James on my bed and staring at the ceiling post-orgasm-number-3, a thought crossed my mind.

"What did you mean when you said 'You're mine'?" I asked, not turning my head to look at him.

"Like a girlfriend." He answered bluntly.

"No." I said quickly. "I don't like you as a person, so I definitely don't want to be your girlfriend."

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with a pained expression. "No, I'm not suggesting that you be my girlfriend-" He took a moment to reconsider his words before sighing. "Are you fucking anyone else?"

"No." I replied definitively.

"Okay," He exhaled, "Do you want to be fucking anyone else?"

"No!"

"Me neither. That's close enough isn't it?" He declared.

What? No it isn't.

"Why can't we just say that we're exclusive friends with benefits that aren't really friends because we don't like each other but sometimes help each other out with non-sexual issues?" I suggested. I have to admit, after hearing it out loud, it was a bit of a mouthful.

"Yeah, but why would I say all those words when I can just say one?" He looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Friends with benefits is completely different from dating." I pointed out.

"First of all, I said 'Like a girlfriend' and second, how different are they really?"

What was going through this guy's head?

"You're hurting my brain." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Can't hurt what you don't have." He replied, earning himself an elbow to the side.

"Ugh, I hate you. Why does it even matter what we call it? We're still not telling anyone." I mentioned, standing up to grab an oversized t-shirt to sleep in.

"True..." He replied, pulling his pants back on and walking toward me before placing a kiss on my forehead and turning to the door. "Thanks for the sex, Y/n."

"Bye, Buck."  I called back after him as I heard the door close.

Was that weird? That was weird, right?

He had kissed my forehead before, but that was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack/flashback. 

Was it weird? Did friends do that kind of thing? Why didn't it bother me when he had kissed my forehead?

I tried to lay down the facts for myself.

1. Barnes was hot

2. He thought I was hot (or at least hot enough to fuck me every other night.)

3. The sex was amazing.

4. I maybe didn't hate him anymore.

Right now, all I wanted to do was go talk to Nat and Wanda about it, but I couldn't. I couldn't because they still hadn't gotten over me calling him 'Bucky' and if they found out that we were doing the horizontal hustle then I'd never hear the end of it and I was way too stubborn to let that happen.

I lay back on my bed and sighed. Why did it have to be so complicated? Was it even that complicated or was I overcomplicating it? Or was it a little bit complicated in the first place and I was undercomplicating it with my overthinking? Is undercomplicating even a word?

I fucking hate my mind.

The only thing I knew was that I didn't like him. He was an arrogant asshole who did everything he could to irritate and bother me.

Right?

He definitely used to be like that, but did he still do that now? I don't know!

Maybe I didn't like him like him, but did I get along with him now? Maybe. He didn't even say anything when I elbowed him in the nose and gave him a nosebleed so maybe he didn't hate me anymore either...

Ugh. I couldn't deal with this right now.

Three hours later, I had finished swimming, had showered and changed in the showers by the pool, and was now walking around the silent compound at 4 am in my favorite sweatpants. I loved walking around the compound in the dark and quiet, it was the only time that the chaotic building was peaceful.

I had grabbed a glass of water to take back to my bedroom when I heard the noise coming from James's room. It wasn't a scream, but the sound of heavy panicked breaths that was clearly audible since his door was a little bit open.

I paused for a moment before going in because I didn't know if he'd want my help, but I remembered that he'd helped me back at the apartment and I'm sure that he would rather someone was there.

Walking up to him and placing my glass on the bedside table I tried to wake him up.

"James." I whispered, "James!" 

He continued to toss and turn in his sheets and the thought that he might accidentally strangle himself with the sheets lodged itself in my mind, so I chucked them on the floor.

"Barnes, wake up!" I said loudly, noticing the features of his face that were contorted with pain or worry.

"Come on, James." I almost yelled, grabbing (gently) onto his shoulder and trying to shake him awake.

It wasn't working.

"Please, Bucky! Wake up, I'm worried." I blurted, but it wasn't until I said it that I realized it was true. I was worried about him.

His eyes shot open and I released a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding before quickly wrapping my arms around him. 

His body froze for a second and he sat stiffly in my embrace, I almost regretted the hug until I felt him soften in my arms before he wrapped an arm around my back.

"Thank you, Y/n/n."

And for once, I didn't complain about him using my nickname.

Shit. 

(918 Words)