With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-95-

Y/n's Pov:

Honestly I was so done with being sad. It didn't mean I wasn't, just that I wanted shitty things to stop happening. I wanted Steve not to be dead. I wanted Vanya not to leave. I wanted it all to go back to how it was.  

"It'll all be okay." Buck whispered to me. He was my light at the moment, the person holding me together. He was the most important person in the world to me and I only hoped that I was doing enough to keep him sane too.  

"Are you okay?" I asked, bringing him in for a hug.  

He kissed me on the forehead and rubbed my back as he replied "I'm holding up." 

"You know you can be honest with me? You can tell me anything." 

"I know Doll," he replied, resting his head on mine. I could feel the warm air from his breaths skate over my lips, the rise and fall of his chest as it pressed up against mine, and the steady thumping of his heart. "You know I trust you. I do tell you everything."  

I hummed into his chest as the hug tightened.  

Until these days were over we would just have to be each other's rock. things would be okay but it felt like the entire group of us just needed to recover. Needed some time to think first. to take a minute for our- 

"Okay." Tony announced. "Things have been shit around here recently, don't try to deny it but we cant change what's happened and we need to give ourselves a reason to smile. Party on Tuesday." 

We all knew Tony was masking. We all knew he was trying to give himself an excuse to cover his grief with a smile. He did like Steve, they had had their rough patches but they had worked it out in the end and even in the short time Vanya had been here they had formed a bit of a bond. But if Tony wanted to throw a party and pretend nothing had happened then that's what he would do. If he could live in the denial then he would, I wouldn't stop him, I was jealous. 

I wished I could do what he did, I wished I could push it all back, I wished I could pretend nothing was wrong but I couldn't.  

And so my mind brought me back to the man whose arms I was in. Things could be worse. 

I pulled away from him slowly, looking at the ring on my finger before resting my hand on the bump that had begun to show a little while ago.  

Bucky held my hand up to look at the ring too, slipping his fingers through mine before bringing it to his lips. "Wanna go on a walk Y/n/n?" 

I nodded, smiling a little as he lead me outside. 

"You thought of any names?" he asked, speaking quietly. "And about what we're going to do once we've got our little girl?" 

"I want to hear your ideas first." I said truthfully. I had one idea that was really important to me, I only hoped he liked it. 

"I hadn't put much thought into it. " he began, "Well no, I've thought about it but there haven't been many good ideas." 

I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked. "Humor me." 

"I guess its harder in this situation." he said, "The last baby I met is probably seventy years old now."  

We both laughed a little as we turned a corner around the compound. 

"I do like the names that were more popular then but I don't want our little girl to sound like she could be somebody's grandmother a day after leaving the womb. Maybe something like Martha? Alice? Evelyn?" 

I nodded and hummed in agreement as we walked along, swinging our hands as we walked. 

"Then again, we could try something more popular, Olivia? Lauren? I even wondered about asking Thor for some Asguardian names but in hindsight I'm not such a big fan of the idea." 

"I had a thought..." I said softly. "What do you think about Sarah?" 

"Sarah? Like..." 

"Yeah, like Steve's mom. I think the name's beautiful, it's a way to remember Steve and I think its an older name right? but it doesn't sound out of date." 

We stopped walking and Bucky looked at me. "That woman was like a second mother to me. I- I love the name."  

He bent down and embraced me in a hug again. 

*I love you so much. I want you to know that every day.* his voice echoed in my mind. 

"I love you too" I whispered. 

(787 Words)