With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-87-

Bucky's POV:

Steve. On the floor. 

A silent scream echoed through my head. The boy perched on my hip was the only one to speak. 

"Спит?" (Asleep?) he asked. 

I couldn't answer. 

I walked over to him, his breaths were shallow, his eyes glazed. I knelt down. I didn't look at his body, I didn't look at the bullet holes. I didn't look at his leg - or what was left of it. I didn't look at how blood seeped out of the back of his head, spreading across the floor like oil. I didn't break eye contact as he started to cough, choking on the blood that filled his lungs. I didn't- 

"Стив?" (Steve?) the boy asked again. 

He coughed a final time. 

I took my fingers and used them to close his eyes. I didn't want to see his eyes lose their color. 

"Стив спит?" (Is Steve asleep?) Vanya asked again. "Баки?" (Bucky?). 

"NO!" I shouted, taking him off my hip. "HE'S DEAD VANYA. HE'S DEAD LIKE YOUR MAMA."  

The boy flinched at the volume of my words. There was pure terror in his eyes. Shit. 

I took a breath, looking him in the eyes. 

"Мама? А как же моя мама?" (Mama? What about my Mama?" 

Thank God the boy couldn't speak English. What the fuck was I doing. 

I looked at Steve, and then back to Vanya.  

Then I broke. 

I collapsed onto Steve's body, sobs racking my chest. This was Steve. Steve was dead. What the fuck? Why him? 

It should have been me. On so many levels it should have been me. 

He ̶i̶s̶   was the better man. He deserved to live. He- 

A tiny hand pressed itself against my back, it rubbed in circles. The small boy, the one I had just hurt, was comforting me. I cried even more.  

I lifted myself from the body and wrapped my arms around the boy. I cried in his arms. 

"Buck-" I heard a familiar voice. Natasha placed her hand gently on my shoulder. "Let's go." 

I took another breath and hugged Vanya one more time before picking him up and placing him on my hip.  

I walked up to Tony who had gotten out of his suit and I whispered in his ear. "His mother is downstairs in the farthest cell. She deserves a burial too."  

He nodded and turned around. I walked out of the building, barely noticing all the twists and turns as I walked down hundreds of feet of corridors.  

When we reached the exit the sun had started to rise, an orange light coating the barren area surrounding us. Vanya yawned in my arms and I wrapped my arms around him tighter. How had everything managed to change in such a short period of time? 

Every step towards the jet felt wrong. Steve should be by my side.  

Vanya yawned again and closed his eyes. He had no idea what had just happened. He had no idea that he'd never see his mother again. No idea that he would wake up in New York - in fact probably no idea where New York was. 

I sat down in the jet and laid him to sleep with his head resting on my leg. What was going to happen next? Would the team have to put him up for adoption? Would he stay with us? Could he stay with us? 

What was Y/n/n going to say? Steve was as much her friend as he was mine. How the fuck were any of us going to get through this?  

I had run out of energy to deal with this anymore. I closed my eyes and let silent tears roll down my face, not wanting to wake the child next to me. 

I kept my eyes closed when they brought Steve on board. I didn't look as they took him to another room.  

I didn't speak when Nat came and sat next to me, her own eyes red from crying. 

We were all a mess. 

The flight back seemed to take forever. I needed my Y/n/n. 

(682 Words)