With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-52-

Y/n's POV:

Fuck. 
I was sitting still on my bed in a pair of Bucky's sweatpants and a T-shirt that he had left in my room last night trying to process what had happened in the gym less than an hour ago. An episode of 'Brooklyn 99' played in the background but I was so zoned out that I couldn't hear it or see more than the flashes as the lighting changed. I was in deep shit.

I hadn't been able to get him off me. I had failed. This was my job, I needed to be able to use my own abilities to overpower people bigger and stronger than me or I was useless to the team. I was useless to the team.

I couldn't even move off my bed, I was paralyzed by my own emotions. Every breath felt heavy and forced. My chest just felt empty. I felt like a disappointment.

What was going to happen now? Was I going to be moved down to the regular units? Were they going to force me into a desk job? Were they going to fire me altogether? If I wasn't on the team would I need to find a new place to live? 

What about me and Buck? As much as I had started to care for him, I was sure that he only spent time with me since we were already in close proximity. Would it all end if I had to leave?

I was so numb to everything going on around me that I didn't hear the door open. I didn't see the person walking up to me. I didn't feel his presence until a pair of strong arms wrapped around me and I felt a gentle kiss press against my forehead.

I looked up into his familiar blue eyes as I felt his real thumb wipe away the tears I hadn't even realized I was crying before leaning in to gently kiss my lips and pull me in for a tighter hug.

"Shhh," He whispered as his metal arm rubbed up and down my back.

I tried to match his breathing as he embraced me, taking much slower, more deliberate breaths than I had been able to before.

"Get out of your head, Y/n/n. Nobody is mad, they're not going to make you leave, nothing is going to change, everything is alright."

I pulled away from him and looked up at him with a confused expression. "Ho-"

He cut me off with another kiss. "You think I don't know you?" he asked, fighting to keep a cheeky smirk off his face, "You think I don't know exactly what's running through your mind? There's no need to overthink. You didn't mess up, you're still recovering and recovery takes time." 

He pulled me back into his arms. The warmth of his body calming me and grounding me once again.

"Besides, we all love you. We wouldn't let you leave even if you wanted to."

Wait what? 
He doesn't mean that he loves me. He means the team. He's my friend and even that is barely confirmed. I need to make sure I don't misinterpret information out of context. He was being a good friend.

"Come on. I'm taking you somewhere." He smiled before taking my hand and pulling me off my bed.

"I'm not wearing anything nice..." I mumbled.

"Fuck that." He replied, "Anyway, te ves tan lindo en mi ropa." (You look so cute in my clothes)

My lips turned up in a smile. "Sí? Son muy cómodos...?" (Yeah? They are very comfortable...)

"Vamos." He grinned (Let's go), threading his fingers through mine and walking me out the room.

--------------------

As we took our places opposite each other in the restaurant booth, I looked around to see a couple of people glaring at us. It wasn't exactly a cheap place, and while the other patrons were dressed up in cocktail dresses and starched shirts, we were sitting in our loungewear.

"Don't think about them, focus on our date."

Woah, hold up...

"Date? You didn't say this was a date."

Buck smiled again and sighed, "Y/n/n. If I had asked you to go on a date with me tonight you would have spent forever contemplating what I meant. You would have wondered whether to dress up or down, you would have wondered if it was because I felt sorry for you because of what happened earlier, it would taint the date itself with questions."

"I mean...maybe." I replied. taking a piece of bread from the basket in front of us and refusing to meet his gaze.

"Look at me." He said, tugging my hand, beaming when our eyes connected. "I'm not asking you out because I feel like I have to. I'm not asking you out because you've had a shitty day. I'm not asking you out just because I think you're hot (even though, trust me, I do). I'm asking you out because I...like you." 

Was I imagining it or was there a pause before he said 'like'?
Did he really have to prepare himself before saying it?

(826 Words)