With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-89-

Bucky's POV:

I don't know how long we'd been sitting in silence before Y/n/n spoke up, but it was a long time. 

"Hi Vanya," She said, trying to keep a level of warmth in my voice for the petrified child clinging to my body. "I'm Y/n." 

He looked up at me with a confused expression. "Y/n? Лучший друг?" (Best friend?) 

"Да, она тоже станет моей женой." (Yeah, she's going to be my wife too.) I replied with a smile. From Y/n/n's expression, she thought it was cute as fuck. 

"Вы говорите по-русски?" (You speak Russian?) She asked out of courtesy. She knew he did; we'd been on a mission in Russia after all. 

"He doesn't know any English. Other than a couple of swear words." I clarified. "He'll probably have to learn though." 

She looked the boy over and took in his appearance. His dark hair was matted and full of blood. His bright blue eyes looked tired, he was clearly malnourished, his bones were visible through his skin.  We needed to clean him up and get him some food before anything else. 

Vanya still looked unnerved at her presence before I spoke up again. "Не волнуйтесь. Она в безопасности. Она не причинит тебе вреда." (Don't worry. She's safe. She won't hurt you.) And with that his death grip on me loosened, he reached a hand out to her. 

Y/n/n took his hand in one of hers and turned it over to see a small cut that had stopped bleeding before reaching the other up to my face, tucking my hair behind my ear, out of my eyes and winced as she saw a cut on my forehead. 

"Looks like my boys need to get fixed up." She smiled sadly before turning to Vanya again. "Можно я тебя понесу?" (Can I carry you?) she asked. 

Vanya nodded and climbed into her arms. She stood up and held a hand out for me. I took it and draped my arm over her shoulder, trying not to put too much weight on her despite my injured leg. 

*Don't worry about hurting me. I can take you.* She thought to me with a small smile. That's my girl. *I'll take him to my old room and bathe him there so you can get a shower and patch yourself up. I'll bring him back to ours once we're done.* 

"Thank you." I whispered, pressing a kiss against her cheek. *We'll get through this.* 

Minutes later I found myself shutting our bathroom door, blood on my hands. Steve's blood. Steve. Who's dead. I turned my head to look in the mirror and just stared. Stared at my sunken eyes, at the blood and dirt on my face. Stared at my messy hair. I needed to cut it again. I stared at my split lip. I just took it all in. 

Not long after, there was a knock before the door opened. "Buck?" It was Y/n/n. My head flicked in her direction. She was holding one of my simple white shirts and wearing a pair of black shorts and a black sports bra. "It's been an hour and a half - are you okay?" 

I shook my head. I didn't want to lie to her. Ever. 

She pressed a gentle kiss to my lips and I rested my hands on her bump. "I just finished up with Vanya. I set him up a blow-up bed on our floor for tonight. He didn't want to be too far away from you." 

I nodded my head silently.  

"I wondered if you might need some help too?" She asked softly.  

I nodded again.  

Y/n/n reached over to the shower and turned it on so the water could heat up enough before pulling the white shirt over her head and lifting mine off my body. She winced at some of the bruises but quickly masked her face. 

"You wanna take off your pants?" She asked, pecking my cheek gently before moving to feel the water.  I did as I was told. 

Steve was dead. 

Y/n/n took my hands in hers and I didn't fail to notice my ring on her finger as she started to lead me into the shower.  

The water ran red. 

"Shhhh," She whispered, attempting to calm me. "It's okay."  

We both knew it wasn't okay.  

She ran her fingers through my hair. The color of the water became even more vibrant. I had to close my eyes. I felt her arms wrap around me.  

I tried not to think about anything other than her. I focused on the sound of her opening the shampoo bottle, the smell of lemons drifted through the air, she was using her shampoo on me.  I listened as she lathered it on her hands before applying it to my head. I focused on her touch as she massaged my scalp. I felt the warm water drip down my back mixing with the suds. 

Anything to distract from the Steve-sized hole inside of me. 

She opened the conditioner and did the same. Following it up with my familiar body wash, it was the one we both used now. I liked her to smell like me. 

She just stood with me in the shower, tracing her hands over my skin as I tried to process everything that had happened. 

After God knows how long she whispered to me again. "The water's running clear, you can look."

I tried, but to my eyes, it was still red. 

I squeezed my eyes tight shut again. Trying not to cry again. 

I failed. 

So Y/n/n and I stayed there in the shower. I don't know when she started to cry but we found ourselves holding each other as the salty tears mixed with the water from the shower head. Trying to console each other. We were both in pain, in the same pain.  

Steve was gone. We'd never see him again. We'd never see him again, and at the moment that felt like too much to bear. 

Her warmth, the bump pressed into my back, the feeling of her love around me. These were the only things that kept me grounded right now. My only reason to hold on. Y/n/n was my reason to hold on. 

(1040 Words)