With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

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Y/n's POV:

"Are you really going to do this?" I asked him, unable to believe that he was about to leave again. 

"Yes." Buck replied stubbornly. 

"After everything that happened last time? You're leaving us again?" I challenged as his brow furrowed in irritation. 

"Don't pull the 'us' card. Neither of us knew." 

"Fine." I accepted. "But it's different now, you can't leave the baby alone." 

Was I trying to guilt-trip him into staying? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. You would have done the same (or maybe you wouldn't because you actually have morals, but I don't know you so...). 

"You think I wanted to leave you alone last time?" He said, his voice laced with disbelief. "Obviously not, Y/n/n." Bucky pulled me into his arms, holding me tight as though he never wanted to let me go. "I love you so much, and the thought of leaving you again, even just for a couple of days, makes me almost sick." 

I pulled away from him quickly. "I am sick, Buck! I'm still puking my guts out every morning for the baby you put in me!" I fired back but not without introduction. 

"It takes two to tango-" 

"Shut up, Tony!" Buck, Stevie, and I yelled at him as he walked around the room, grabbing the last of the kit for their mission. 

"Y/n/n, I understand, but what do you want me to do?" Bucky began again. 

"Stay! I want you to stay Buck!" I yelled, "I made that very very clear." 

Bucky raked his hand through his hair, one piece falling right between his eyes in a way that... Oh my God, these fucking hormones are going to drive me insane. 

"I can't stay. This is my job." 

"Yeah. I know." I snapped, "It's my job too. One of our bosses has been your best friend for over a hundred years and you killed the other one's parents." In the background, I saw Steve and Tony share half-amused, half-disturbed glances. "It's not exactly the typical workplace dynamic, you don't have to go on this mission." 

"She's right, Buck-" Steve started before a sharp, blue, death glare stopped him in his tracks. 

"Y/n/n," He reached for my hands. 

"Don't 'Y/n/n' me." I replied, shoving my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. Well, it was actually his hoodie, but that's not the point. 

"I'll be honest Y/n/n, I want to go. I like what we do and I don't want to stop." Bucky paused to let the information sink in, waiting for me to nod before continuing. "I do love you, you know that." I nodded again, "But I want to get back out there, don't you want to be in combat once the baby's here?" 

"...Yeah." I answered. I did, I loved missions and fighting and all the risks and thrills that go along with them. Okay, maybe not all the risks. 

"So..." Bucky rested his hands on my shoulders, gently massaging my shoulders almost subconsciously. "Will you let me go?" 

"Let you go?" I asked, confused. "You know I'd never stop you from going. I just don't want you to go." 

Bucky pulled me into his arms again, stroking my back as he held me in his warm embrace. I was breathing against his chest when I felt him press my lips to my forehead. I pulled back a little and smiled, before reaching up to press my lips against his, savoring his taste, not fully knowing when I would get to experience it again. 

As we pulled apart it felt achingly soon, I didn't want to let him go or even just leave his arms, and there he was, my (sexy af) fiancé standing in front of me, about to go into a potential battleground. I looked down at my ring, twisting it on my finger before bringing my hand up to my neck where the chain of his dog tag hadn't left contact with my skin since he placed it on me last week. 

"Be careful." It was the only thing I could think to say without bursting into tears. 

Fucking hormones. Again. 

"I'll look after him." Steve said, placing a hand on my back. 

"As long as you look after her." Buck chuckled, gesturing to my bump with a smile. 

"Deal." I agreed, taking a step back, knowing that if I let myself feel him just for a second, then I would never be able to let him leave our room. Let alone the compound. 

"I'm coming back, Y/n/n." He whispered to me, his eyes watering slightly. 

My voice caught in my throat, "You said that last time." 

He shook his head and smiled almost sadly. "Don't say that, I've been on hundreds of missions Y/n/n. I'll see you in a couple of days." 

We both stood there for almost 2 whole minutes before a thought crossed my mind. "I love you so much, Buck." 

I couldn't let him go without saying it. 

(825 Words)