With Him | Bucky x Reader | Enemies with Benefits

-51-

MINOR TW: A REALLY QUICK FLASHBACK & PANIC, I JUST WANT Y'ALL TO BE OK :)

Y/n's POV:

"So-" Sighed Tony as he sat down at the opposite end of the breakfast table, the others all munching on waffles, pancakes, bacon, you name it they had it. "Bruce, the doctor, and I have been talking and we think you should be ready to get back to some gentle training."

I almost choked on the food in my mouth, this was weeks earlier than I had expected them to let me. I had managed to persuade them to let me do some gentle swimming each day with supervision, but any kind of combat training had been sworn off for at least a month.
"Really?"

Also, these pancakes needed some more syrup...

"Yeah," Bruce agreed with a cautious tone to his voice, "But I need to be very clear about this, you can't hit your head, if you do then I want you to come straight to me for a check-up. You need to be careful not to go past your limits, you can't-"

"I'm sure she'll be fine." Bucky interrupted him, passing me the syrup.

Fucking mind reader.

"Do you want to head down to the gym later and train?" He asked kindly.

All the other heads at the table turned toward us with a huge variety of expressions. Tony looked stern, like he thought Buck would dry to rip my head off, Sam just looked disapproving while Steve smiled in a way that made me worried that he knew more than I wanted him to know.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Tony asked, glaring at Bucky like he had lasers for eyes.

"I think they'll be fine." Steve smiled. I shot him a questioning glance but he just shrugged it off.

-------------------------

Two hours later, I walked into the gym to find Bucky already warming up, although his definition of warming up would probably kill me. Fucking super soldier.

I had to admit that he looked good as he exercised, barely breaking a sweat in his usual grey sweatpants and wife-beater.

"Take a picture, Doll." he called across the room before walking in my direction, "It'll last longer. You ready to spar a bit? I'll go easy on you..."

I scoffed a little, "No need Barnes, I'll be fine."

We walked over to the matts and he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before standing across from me. Diversion tactics.

Bucky let me throw the first punch but easily dodged it. Of course, he shot one back in retaliation.

The next few punches were perfect, hitting each other exactly where we always did.

I swiped his leg out from underneath him and sat on top of him, my full body weight down on him to keep him from moving

"That's not going to work, Doll." He smirked before flipping us back over on the matt so that he was on top of me and my arms were somewhat-restrained.

"Come on, you can get out." He teased, "Push me off."

But I couldn't.

I couldn't get him off me, and everything switched in a second. My mind flicked back through my memories, memories that I had tried to forget.

Memories of my eight-year-old self pushed into a cell.
Memories of my eleven-year-old body forced onto a bed.
Memories of my sixteen-year-old self finally killing the man who had pushed me around for years. watching his red blood run off my hands and down the drain.

Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes as his grinning body was pressed on top of me, staring down. 

I tried to push him off again but he didn't budge. I had always been able to get out of this situation before, I had been trained for years, I had practiced. Fuck, that's what sparring was for!

But I couldn't get out. He was easily overpowering me and I couldn't get out. He had the power.

I felt my breathing grow tighter and more rapid, every second felt like it was suffocating me. 

I didn't feel his weight lift off me, I didn't feel him guide me over to the benches at the side of the room, I wasn't aware of anything. My eyes were open but I wasn't taking in any information, I couldn't hear the words being spoken to me, they went in one ear and out the other.

"Y/....." I heard a familiar muffled voice break through the wall of chaos that it had inflicted on itself.  "Y/n/n..."

My nickname cut through my confusion like a knife. I launched myself into his side and sobbed.

"It's ok." Buck whispered, stroking my hair. "I've got you, you just haven't done much training recently, you'll be back to kicking my ass again in a week or two."

A quiet sob escaped my mouth and I immediately felt ashamed. That was one thing that they had always tried to teach us in The Institute;

No emotions. emotions are weakness and you cannot afford to be weak.

"I've got you" James whispered into my ear. "You're safe with me."

(823 Words)