Sam Imagines

All I want For Christmas

I sat on the small leather stool looming over my third drinks empty glass still in my hand every so often swirling the dregs of the drink around the bottom of the glass watching it pool there. I was angry, well sort of mostly just disappointed in knowone but myself.
I was a fool for thinking after all this time she would still think of me and adore me as much as I did her. My first love. We rekindled our connection on an American tour with my band and she even came to London to live with me, we were engaged but only for nine months. I proposed last Christmas but it wasn't smiles and ring flashes for long. I noticed she didn't much seem to be doing any planning for our wedding I didn't push given she had alot of work on and such but as the weeks and months went on and still she hadn't even shown a sign of a single thought about our wedding I pushed her about it she got defensive saying she was too busy to think about it now so I backed off and tried to do some myself but I felt awful as I'd always have to stop myself as I didn't know what she wanted, the months kept on rolling by and still nothing so I faced her about it we ended up arguing for hours and it finally snapped
"Because I don't want to marry you!"
"You - you what?"
"I. I'm sorry Sam. It was all so fast a rush of emotions when we met up again, I'd just gone through so many bad relationships the idea of you sounded so perfect. Like a romcom movie and then suddenly we where here and you proposed and I... I didn't know what to say. It was so sweet and so romantic but I just... I never wanted to go through with it I just couldn't face to tell you no"
I tried to hold our relationship together but we both knew the moment she was honest with me our relationship was over. She moved out last month and I've been alone since.
I felt so stupid, so upset with myself. I'd found myself down here alot drinking away my lonesomeness.
Didn't help I heard that stupid song everywhere this time of year, it always made me think of her no matter when I heard it but I just have to live with it can't avoid it this time of the year.
I tried to just burry my head in the bar and not think about anything for a while.
"You okay?" I headed from the bar so I glanced up seeing a girl behind the bar she had a little pair of ankle boots on with black tights, a black long sleeve shirt rolled to her elbows, a red check pinafore dress around her a red bow in her hair she took my glass and cleaned it
"Fine" I lied
"Another?" She asks
"Yeah okay" I shrug so she smiled and made me another drink I grabbed my wallet but she stopped me
"Don't worry about it" she says dropping the drink off
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, so long as you tell me why the face is so long?" She smiled
"It's a very long and sad story"
"Come on in all ears"
I gave her the abridged version of it all and she did listen hanging on my words and reacting much as one would expect
"You poor thing. I know how you feel"
"You do?"
"Umm my man left me at the altar after we paid a fortune for a wedding, left me for the bridesmaid."
"Oh I'm so sorry"
"It's alright. Cut my dress shorter and went to the reception had all the food drinks and music we paid for had a fantastic party"
"That's nice. Sorry I don't mean to be all gloomy"
"It's okay, don't worry about it. Here can't be sad with a chocolate lolli" she smiled handing me a little wrapped chocolate lollipop of Santa I smiled and unwrapped it having a nibble she was right you can't be sad with a chocolate lollipop, we talked for a good long while about everything and nothing until last orders, I grabbed my jacket and made sure to leave a good tip for her as she had cheered me up more then the drinks could "careful on your way home." She warns gathering glasses
"I will. You be careful too"
"I will do. Y/n" she smiled offering her hand
"Sam" I smiled giving her hand a little shake "thanks for cheering me up"
"Anytime" she smiled
I headed out and down the frosty streets to my cold empty apartment I had some water to chase a hangover away and got tucked into bed away from the cold, but as I laid on my back blanket in hand staring up at the textured ceiling my heart raced. "Fuck" I muttered

I often visited the bar when I felt lonely or sad, she always managed to make me feel better we talked about everything and nothing for forever she was so sweet but wouldn't take shit at the same time likely the bar girl mentality sweet as a lemon drop shot but could happily kick your arse of required I had to admit I was a little... smitten on her but I tried to ignore it all was never good with this stuff. Given how close it was to Christmas I felt really down tonight and knowing I wouldn't see her till the new year didn't help
"Stop frowning Sammy" she says pinching my cheek as she returned from getting a few glasses from the corner table
"I can't help it. Christmas always makes me feel sad"
"Did you know" she smiled coming around to behind the bar in her little green and red dress in a Christmas tree pattern with little Christmas light print tights "the holidays have the highest suicide rate of any time of year" she smiling
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better y/n"
"Come on what do I have to do to stop you being so sad?"
"Why do you care if I'm happy?"
"Sam. I run a bar. Sad customers don't make a good atmosphere. And a bad atmosphere makes people not buy drinks. And I have Christmas shopping to do. So smile or I will shove a chocolate lollipop up your butt." She laughed
"Christmas makes me think about Joanna that's all"
"Your mum or your ex?"
"Both honestly. But mostly ex"
"You want me to take your mind off it"
"Yes please"
"Okay, do you wanna play guess the plot to the holiday walk of shame?"
"Maybe later not fun ones this early"
"Alright. You wanna choose a song for the music?"
"Eh"
"You wanna watch me make a jolly snowman"
"What's that?"
"A drink I am in the process of inventing"
"Can I try it when you're done?"
"Yes"
"Okay, show me"
"Yay. Right first step. We take a nice big margarita glass to make sure it's clean. Well clean enough for Sammy" she smiled "we take a hostess snowball from the snack shelf and knock off some of the coconut and mix it with some sugar to coat the rim, then take a bit of melted white chocolate and do some artsy shit in the glass"
"Ohhh fancy looking. May I taste the chocolate?'
"Go on" she laughed letting me have a bit of the still very hot melted chocolate
"Ummm. That's nice. Not cheap catering grade chocolate?"
"What do you take me for Sammy? No we have real chocolate here this chocolate was once a white chocolate lollipop" she smiled
"Ummm delicious"
"Then you drop a snowball inside"
"Oh."
"Then grab yourself some vodka"
"I like vodka"
"As a dash of peppermint snapps"
"Ooohh"
"Then shake that up like a bottle of sunny d where it's all sunk to the bottom"
"Then we get some white chocolate liquor"
"Ooohh does it taste chocolatey?"
"Chocolate alcohol so gone off chocolate"
"Alright"
"Then add that to the glass but not to full you know it's mixed of the snowball floats" then just as a little dash of hot chocolate mix and milk"
"This is chocolatey"
"And drunk" she giggled grabbing a candy came stabbing the snowball and then giving the whole drink a stir "one jolly snowman" she smiled handing it over to me "try it try it" she smiled
"Alright I'll give it a go" I smiled having a sip "whoa... that is sugary" I laughed "nice just a bit of a holiday kick in the mouth"
"Let me try" she smiled grabbing a straw and having a sip Herself "ummm I think the chocolate milk is a bit redundant"
"I like It actually, maybe the snaps are what's taking it to the intense you already have a candy cane in it sort of goes crazy with the peppermint"
"I like the lot of peppermint though makes me think of like white chocolate peppermint bark but like a drink,"
"Hu I've never had peppermint bark so maybe its just me. It is nice though. Needs work but it's drinkable"
"Sam I've seen you drink bottle beer you'll drink anything"
"True" I shrug "what are you up to while the bars shut and all?"
"Just upstairs probably watch a terrible Christmas movie just didn't want to work over Christmas"
"Makes sense... I will miss you."
"What?' she giggled
"I'll miss you with the bar closed I won't get to see you"
"Or drink"
"I can drink at home. I'll miss getting to see you"
"Your a sweetheart" she smiled giving my cheek a kiss "aren't you spending Christmas with your stepdad?'
'yes. My stepdad, stepmum and step brother"
"How does that work again?'
"My mum met my dad"
"Right"
"Then had me"
"Okay"
"My dad left"
"Oh"
"Then my mum met my stepdad"
"Following you"
"Then my mum died"
"Oh goodness"
"And my step dad married my step mum"
"Then they had your step brother?'
"No my step mum already had my step brother with another guy."
"What happened to him?'
"Died"
"Oh. So like... none of you are actually related to each other?"
"Not at all. But there still my family'
"What about your dad?"
"What genetic dad?'
"Yeah?"
"No clue. He left when I was four haven't had so much as a birthday card from him since" I shrug
"No wonder your so gloomy" she laughed playing with my hair a little
"I'm gloomy because I don't like Christmas"
"Liar."
"I don't I don't like Christmas"
"You love Christmas your just gloomy because your your ex"
"...maybe"
"Sam. I know you loved her but your not going to solve your problems acting gloomy and drinking your life away in here"
"Thought you'd want me to drink my life away. I'm paying you for the privilege"
"Do you actually check your bank?'
"Rarely why?"
"Go on" she says
I was confused but as she went to deal with someone's wine I got my phone and checked my bank as she returned
"Holy hell"
"Umm hum"
"How'd I get so much money? I thought I was like really low on money"
"I haven't been charging you"
"Why not? I drink like a fish when I'm here?"
"Because your my friend. And I like helping to cheer you up" she smiled giving my head a kiss and going off to sort other stuff around the bar as it was now last orders
"Thank you y/n."
"It's alright. You always tip me good anyway so it balances out" she laughed
"You really see me as a friend?"
"I do. Unless I'm just your bartender?"
"No no. I really hoped you were my friend" I smiled
I helped her tidy the bar up as I felt a little bad and like usual I was the last one here following her out into the snow as she turned the security in and locked the bar up
"Guess I'll see you at New year's"
"Yeah," she smiled "if you've got a minute I have something for you"
"Something for me?" I asked and she nods so I happily followed her to the little door beside the bar she unlocked it heading up the stairs so I followed her up where a little cramped apartment sat above the bar she let me in and it was warm and cosy exactly how I imagined her apartment to be with some lights and paper snowflakes in the snows and a beautiful little Christmas tree in the living room
"You have a really nice apartment"
"Thanks I like being close to the bar" she smiled heading to her living room leaving her bag and such on the table and kneeling on the floor digging under her tree a moment before she returned with a box with red and white candy cane striped paper and a big green bow "for you"
"For- for me?"
"Yeah"
"You - you got me a Christmas present?"
"Of course I did"
"You didn't have to do that for me"
"Well I wanted to. I know Christmas makes you sad but I wanted to cheer you up even when I can't be with you"
"Aww y/n. That's so sweet. Thank you so much" I smiled happily taking the box immediately being shocked by how heavy it was "I really wish I'd got something for you now"
"That's okay. Now get home or the snow will be up to your knees"
"Alright, thank you so much y/n. I'll see you at New year's"
"See you then" she smiled I blushed but couldn't help myself I gave her cheek a little kiss and she gave me a rather amused look
"Uhhh I uhhh"
"See you new years Sam."
"See ya" immediately I bolted out of her apartment and all the way home feeling like a fucking idiot.
I set the gift she got me under my little tree it honestly made the tree feel rather unimpressive and I tried to get to bed.