Heartbreaker

S E V E N

I didn't want to go to school today.

But not because I was trying to be dramatic or anything. But it was because I knew that I was going to see him. I'm so non confrontational it's absurd.

I thought about skipping first period. Just so that I could avoid talking to him or his eyes on me as I walked past him when I sat down. But that wouldn't be very, mature, of me. I'm not sure if that's even the right word to use but it didn't feel right to do. Nothing even really happened but I still don't want to talk about it. At least with him.

I wasn't exactly mad. I do deserve an explanation but I wasn't mad. Maybe I was that night. And maybe it isn't fair of me to completely shut him off if I didn't hear his side. But it did look like he was with her right after we left. Even my friends noticed. So in the moment the first emotion I felt was anger.

But at the same time I don't know what to feel now. I can't act like it didn't happen because he'd just do it again. But because of the fact that I don't know him well, I feel like I can't get mad at him. We're definitely not dating or anything close to it. We had a couple moments where we were flirty but, if something were to come out of this, as expressed the other night, it couldn't start off on whatever this situation was.

I guess what I'm upset over is that I didn't feel, respected, as a person. He's falling down the same path he told me he wouldn't. And that's what I have a problem with.

Instead of debating some more, I threw the covers off of me. My alarm had gone off ten minutes ago but I still continued to lay in bed anyway. I start to get ready for the day. Instead of leaving my face with no makeup like I usually do, I decided to put on makeup. Just to make sure I felt extra good about myself today. Because whatever I saw in my reflection looked awful.

After I finished getting ready I walked out of my room. Then went straight to the bathroom and did what I had to in there. As I walk out into the living room I realized I didn't have enough time to eat cereal like I normally do, so I grabbed a granola bar instead. Jake eyes follow me as I walk through the kitchen.

"You look... different."

"In a good way or a bad way," I ask as I walk into the living room. I hear him follow me into it.

"I don't know. I'm just, not used to it." I guess he's right, I normally don't wear it. I put on my coat and then my shoes.

"Are you ready?"

"Aren't you going to eat?" He asks from the kitchen.

"I grabbed a granola bar." I hear his footsteps echo throughout the house. He appears in front of me, his hair tucked back into a pony tail today. He leans against the corner, staring at me as I grab my coat off the row of hooks. "Do you need me to drive or something? What are you waiting for?"

"Did something happen over the weekend?" He asks. I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. "You're just acting different. You don't wear makeup to school, you steal my sweatshirts to wear and now you're suddenly wearing nice clothes."

"I felt like wearing something different today, okay?" I say while turning around. I didn't think jeans a tank top and a cardigan was something different. Sure I normally only wore leggings and sweatshirts but I wear this, sometimes. "Let's go."

"Okay." The topic was dropped thankfully. And we both hum the song that was in the radio as he drives to school.

Once we get there I swing my backpack over my shoulder. I knew he was going to be sitting near the wall with Jared like he normally does. That used to be his go to spot every day before he became friends with him. But now it's just their spot I guess. With the occasional girls that tag along around there.