Heartbreaker

T W E N T Y F I V E

"I came prepared today," I tell Paul as I show him my oversized sweatshirt. It wasn't too chilly out tonight, but I'll definitely need that fire for warmth too. "It's not the cutest but it keeps me warm."

"I think you look cute," He says, smiling down at me as we walk toward the fire in Emily's back yard. "You always do."

I fight the blush creeping up on my cheeks, "Thanks." I hear him chuckle a couple of seconds later.

"Is that Jake's sweatshirt?" Our steps were in sync with each other as we slowly started walking toward the beach.

"Yeah, I always steal his stuff," I say.

He smiles, "I'm sure he loves that."

I smile. Jake for sure does not like that I steal his stuff.

"He can suck it up. I don't have many that I can wear. Rachel and Rebecca used to do it all the time with our Dad's stuff. All girls do it."

"Oh, I know," He says.

He didn't have any sisters. So I assume he was talking about his past.

"...Paige?"

I wonder if he's over her. I know he was the one that ended things, but there's still a chance his feelings for her might've not gone away.

Which is okay. I can't expect them to dissipate, especially since we've never really had a conversation about our feelings for one another. As of right now, we're just friends.

As of right now is the key word.

I wonder if I'll be able to find the courage to tell him tonight.

He nods, "She still hasn't given me back one of my sweatshirts I told her not to take."

"Really?" I ask, "I wonder why she wouldn't give it back. You've made it pretty clear you're over her."

Unless he hasn't, a voice inside me says.

Shut up brain you can trust Paul.

"I don't even want it back at this point," He explains. "I don't need it, and I don't even want to try to talk to her. Knowing her she'd probably try to hold it over my head or something."

"She doesn't seem like a very good person," I say, "You didn't deserve to be put through what she put you through."

"I wasn't a good person back then either Jos," He admits hesitantly. "But I am now."

"How does it change that quickly?" I ask, "From being a bad person to where you are now?"

"I guess I hangout around different people now," He explains, glancing down at me. "But you're right maybe I still am the bad person I used to be."

Oh god, I'm an idiot. I didn't mean it like that. I really need to start thinking about what I'm saying before I speak.

I touch his arm, "Paul that wasn't what I meant—"

"—It's okay," He says, giving me a small smile. "I might not be the best person, I did some things that I'm not proud of. But my anger's getting a lot better. It's a work in progress."

"Paul," I stop him, my fingers hovering over his wrist. My eyes flick back and forth between his. "You're a good person."

"When I'm around you," He says, licking his lips. "I want to be the best possible person."

"You are," I reassure him. My hand encloses around his wrist, my pinky lightly dancing over the top of his hand. "I have a pretty good read on people. I can tell you're good."