Table For Two

9 - Ali

Today is not a good day.

I honestly think my head is slowly being slowly pried open with a crowbar. I would say "oh I'll never drink again" but that would be complete horseshit. Instead I'm stood here waiting outside of Castle - the old rampart that has been converted into classrooms and I just know that when winter really rolls in that it is going to be cold as the damn arctic in here but right now there is glaring sunlight that even my sunglasses aren't blocking out enough of and I swear I will end up rattling like a maraca if I take any more pills for my headache. Yes I know there is a recommended dose but desperate times.

Fortunately I am not the only one who looks like they are hanging. Half the class does. I recognise some people in the vaguest sense. I've probably seen them drinking and dancing and likely throwing up in an alleyway somewhere around the city. One big group of drunkards and writers... Kerouac and co., eat your heart out. Before long there is a gaggle of about twenty of us which isn't bad for a nine o'clock start during freshers week. Our professor is Anastasia Clarke and honestly she is so warm and inviting it's hard not to immediately want to do your best for her. She's got dark brown hair and dark eyes but a brilliant thousand-watt smile and an infectious laugh. Her accent is American but I can't really place where. Somewhere in the North maybe since she doesn't exactly sound like Miss Dolly.

We all sit in tables of four - I think more on autopilot than anything since none of us are particularly lucid. I end up sitting with a guy I'd seen on Grindr at some point during the week, a girl I recognised from a house party because of her pink bob cut and someone I had no idea who they were but they wore a button up and a waistcoat with a cutesy bowtie so they are already great in my book. Anyone that can pull off outfits that would look ridiculous on me is definitely someone I want to know.

"Well good morning, everyone. Welcome to first year poetry" Anastasia says with a genuine, easy smile. There is a chorus of responses that can ultimately be summed up as begging for the sweet release of death. She just chuckles at us.

"Don't worry I'm sure you'll all survive. Now I hope you all remembered the printouts for the course?" she gives us a knowing look as though she already knows that some of us haven't but it looks like most of us do, save two or three. She hands out spares to them.

We go through the module contents and then start looking at some of the poems before working on an exercise which she calls a "Call and Response poem" which as far as we could see was repeating a refrain in the form of a question and then the poetry of it was in our answers. We had a go using the question "What time is it?" and by the end of the session we have something to work on at home. I took one last look at what I had scrawled in my notebook and blushed a little before scarpering. I need food and to not think about that poem until I need to write it up for class next week.

I head to the student union bar - or the SU as it's better known. It is a big square of red brick and small windows and when I get in I swear I can still smell the sweetness of alcohol beneath an incredibly thick blanket of bleach and ammonia and I need to stop for a minute to let my head clear before heading further. When I finally muster the courage to walk into the bar itself, I see Harvey almost instantly.

People are still coming up the drive from classes to get food so we are ahead of the crowd. He has a pot of tea in front of him and a steaming cup to his left hand side. He's wearing a yellow plaid shirt with jeans and his beanie and vans that match what he's wearing. He has glasses tucked in the pocket of his shirt and he's scribbling in a notebook. I head up to the side of the table.

"Hey, what can I get you?"

He looks up and I swear someone keeps vacuuming all the oxygen out of buildings around here because it's suddenly like I can't breathe for the longest moment as he smiles and says hi and I sit down opposite him. He closes his notebook and puts it in his back and picks up his tea with one hand as he slides over another cup I hadn't noticed for me, already poured.

"Milk and one. Figured I'd get for us both" he says and sounds so shy about it. I just smile at him thankfully.

"Thank you, you are a lifesaver. Have you ordered food?"

"Not yet. Probably just gonna get a full english though."

"Yes! I'm down with that. And extra hash browns. You can't ever have enough hash browns."

"If you say so" he chuckles.

"I'll order for us both then. How do you take your eggs?"

"You don't have to pay for me"

"Just... I'm hungover and being nice, take advantage of me"

Harvey goes bright red and I process what I just said way too late.

"Uhh... shit, y-y'know what I mean! Lemme be nice!"

He sighs.

"Fried please. And brown toast too!"

"Awesome. Coming right up" I say in my customer service voice and I nearly double over laughing as he snorts his tea out of his nose. I get to the bar and order for us both before getting handed one of these weird buzzer things that sound like my alarm in the morning and honestly set my teeth on edge whenever they go off. That's how irritating the sound is. I also grab a glass of water too because I can still feel that pulsing throb right behind my forehead. When I sit down across from Harvey, I kind of slump down into the chair. He looks at me with a smile but also... concern.

"Don't worry. Not drunk still. I just get the worst hangovers known to humanity" I say as I chug half my water in one go.

"And you still drove in?"

"I mean... yeah, not getting anywhere if I don't"

"You sure you'll be okay today?"

"Yes, Doctor Harvey, your patient is fine" gods the sarcasm came out thick as I said that but Harvey just rolls his eyes and sips his tea. Okay, maybe I need to tone it down until we get used to each other properly given this is our first time deliberately interacting. I reach over and nudge his elbow as it's resting on the table while he's looking back towards the door. The moment I touch him, it's like we both suddenly got shocked with a dozen cattle prods. Every nerve in my body seems to go on fire and I become far too aware of every little sound and movement as my body reacts. Judging by the way Harvey snaps his head back round and looks down to where my left hand is gently placed against his elbow and then looking up at me, I can only assume he felt something the same.

We seem stuck in that moment for a while before I manage to get words out.

"I'm okay. I'm used to this being a little rough when I drink. It just happens and I've got a few months of dealing with it under my belt. I do appreciate the concern though. I also just have a real long streak of sarcasm in me."

"Really? I hadn't noticed" Harvey offered back with a grin. Okay, turnabout is fair play. I gladly reel my hand back in before I do something really dumb like start stroking his arm or try and hold his hand. I am being ridiculous and overreacting to every little thing and it needs to stop happening. I desperately try to steer us into safer waters.

"So how's your first week of classes been?"

"They've been okay. It's all really been introductory bullshit so far. I think I've only really spoken to you and two people on my course so far this week... other than like, really brief encounters with flatmates. I don't really spend much time with them. Just keep myself to myself. What about you?"

"Oh, I don't think anyone on my course has been sober the entire week. Pretty sure most of us are going to end up with some kind of dependency issue if we don't already have them."

Harvey looks taken aback by that... okay, maybe less naked honesty. As if it was capable of sensing how much of an awkward clanger I just dropped, the buzzer for the food goes off, rattling and screaming across the table like some haunted vibrator and giving both of us a damn heart attack. Harvey eventually grabs it and goes to get the food. I become very grateful for the reprieve so I can smack myself in the forehead.

Why can't I just talk to him like a regular human being?

What is wrong with me?