Table For Two

27 - Ali

I don't quite know how I ended up like this. I felt something off from the moment I woke up. Like everything was twisted up and wrung out and I could feel that urge to just snap or cry. Sometimes I get like this. This is all emotion and anxiety. It's what follows it that really is the shit part. But I still try to push through it. I went to work and did my shift but on God I could have broken down and started bawling at any point. Especially when it came to serving a family of four that consisted of two crotch demons, asshole dad and mother Karen. If both Dee and Harvey hadn't been there... I probably would have lost it and gone after that asymmetrical bob-headed bitch like a mosquito after blood. Yes, the burger is slightly pink because its done at mid-rare, just like it says at the top of the menu, you stupid fuck.

I go for a quick smoke when the bar cover comes in so that Dee can join me. The moment we are out the back, I basically just scream in frustration, which catches her off guard.

"Jesus. Warn a bitch first before you go full on Ilaria Sand on them" she says, making a point of checking her ears. I don't find it funny.

"I will kill someone today, I swear" I seethe as I take a deep drag on my cigarette. It isn't helping at all.

"Just... try and breathe, 'kay? Just come see me if you're getting overwhelmed and we can swap so I do some floor. Or go see your boy"

"He's not my boy"

"Yet. C'mon."

She pulls me into a tight but brief hug. It helps a little but not enough. I paint a fake smile back on my face and stride back into the chaos. And it is chaos. Or it at least feels like chaos because my mind is in a full spiral right now and is making everything ten times the effort it should be to look functional. Mercifully, Harvey seems to be the only person in here to not notice the chaos. He's in his own world and working on an essay of some sort and I just feel calmer when I walk by him. Which I do deliberately and often. I bus his table without him noticing and get him another drink. He starts drinking it without even questioning where it came from and I chuckle as I walk away.

The Family From Hell are my last people to cash out and they try to wheedle out of paying for anything. I am about an inch from snapping when Harry comes out of the kitchen and handles them deftly. He's always been a natural at handling Karens and it's a wonder to behold. Once he's settled any issue and still charges them the full meal, he turns to me, then looks at the clock by the bar. 17:45.

"You go early. I'll clock you out at six" he says with a half smile. Dee must have told him I wasn't feeling great. Which I do kind of appreciate but at the same time I could have managed the next few minutes. I go to the back and grab my jacket and then immediately, without really acknowledging that I had thought about doing this and then head to Harvey's table. I just kind of wait there. But just being near him helps a little. He eventually looks up a little sheepishly, not realising what the time was.

"Oh hey. Are you done already?"

"Yeah. I'm done."

I really don't mean to snap. I'm just... I'm just done with today. Harvey, mercifully, doesn't look wounded or taken aback or annoyed. He just pays up his tab and packs up pretty quickly and we leave together. I hadn't planned for us to. He probably would have stayed in til close if I hadn't broken whatever hypnotic spell he had accidentally cast on himself while doing his essay. The moment we step outside... I can just feel it all come crashing down on me. Just all the anxiety and stress of the day and everything racing around my head just gets too much and I grab Harvey's arm. The moment he turns to face me and I see those goddamn beautiful eyes, I just kind of body check him and bury my head in the crook of his shoulder as my arms wrap round him and he just hugs me back. He doesn't say anything.