Table For Two

61 - Ali

Harvey left the next day. It was still about a week til Christmas at that point and Jesus take the goddamn wheel, work was a fucking hellscape that entire week. Me and Dee hung out a lot more though. I stayed round hers a couple nights and we got high - something I hadn't done since being with Harvey. I know he didn't mind me smoking and I don't think he would have been bothered by but I didn't do it that often and when I did, it was always with Dee. We listened to Taylor Swift and had deep and meaningful conversations about bullshit a lot of the time. Harvey kept texting me from the moment his folks picked him up, sending me pictures. He really did live out in the sticks but it was a lot of pretty vistas and there was one day where he sent me a picture of them all standing in front of a huge lake.

He definitely took after his mum. They looked the spitting image of each other, minus the fact she was about half a foot shorter than him. His siblings took after his dad a lot more. His brother

was kind of handsome as it turned out but he couldn't hold a candle to Harvey. My Harvey. At that point it had been three days and I had been a miserable ass when I got to Dee's on the one night off that we both booked together in the entire year and we got it on the calendar in January. This was our thing and it was practically a religious thing for us. Harry didn't mind. Mid-week was quieter and he had help from his kids coming back from Uni to help over the holiday.

I was lying on the floor, pretty wasted and sighing like a forlorn housewife in a romance novel when Dee threw a pillow at me.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"To shut you up. Quit making that noise and spoiling my high."

"Sorry. I-"

"Miss Harvey, I know," she sighed herself.

"Okay wow that was a little harsh"

"Look... I know he's special to you but it feels like he's your whole identity now."

I pick myself up off the floor and give her a look. The masterpiece that is the ten-minute version of All Too Well is playing and we're supposed to be talking about anything and everything but this.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much, Dee. I know I let having a boyfriend go to my head a bit. I've missed hanging out with you."

"Sure you have."

"Oh, bitch... don't start giving me that. Last time you got loved up you disappeared for like a year and I didn't say shit. You showed up after getting dumped and I hugged you and got mum to make her chilli for us."

"...okay, okay. No more pity partying though. For either of us. Can you just let it be for tonight? I won't be a bitch about you being lovey-dovey and you don't be a lovesick puppy for a little bit?"

"I can do that. You gonna roll another?"

She rolled her eyes at me and set about rolling another joint. I sat on the edge of her bed swaying to the music. Harvey texted me a picture of a fire in a lounge and his slipper-sock clad feet with a message that said "come cuddle me" and fuck I wish I was sober and stupid enough to do so right now because I would have been gone. I missed him. we'd barely been apart for long enough to miss each other before so this was torture. Honestly, Harvey not being here right now was homophobic. Dee finished rolling, lit up, took a couple long drags before passing it.

I messaged Harvey back before putting my phone down and smoking, lying back on Dee's bed, holding the smoke in before letting it billow out of my nose like I was a dragon.

"Can you promise me something?" Dee asks to fill the silence between us.

"Go for it" I respond.

"Please don't forget me next year. I get you and Harvey are a thing and honestly babes I am so fuckin' happy that you got a man that loves you like you deserve now but I just wanna go hang out and go clubbing with my best friend again and I want to be able to do that."

"Definitely. I promise. And I am sorry and I do miss hanging out with you."

"You miss my weed"

"Well duh, that goes without saying"

"Alister" she says, scandalised.

"Deanna" I reply, mocking her tone. That earns me a kick in the ribs. We start play-fighting and then collapse laughing before putting on a Studio Ghibli movie. They are even better when you're baked. We fall back into our easiness like we hadn't been interrupted by me getting a boyfriend and we talk about everything and nothing. I meant when I said I'd missed her. Absolutely going to try and stop being so dick-obsessed next year so we can go do things again. And I know Harvey will understand that too.

The rest of the week, me and Dee spend time together. We go out to the movies and we go get drunk together and we spend a whole lot of time at work together too. Me and Harvey keep texting and then calling every night, often to the detriment of our sleep schedules but hey, we are young and in love, it's allowed. Occasionally I trip Harvey up by sending him a pic of me wearing next to nothing and I can just picture him blushing bright red which makes me smile. He usually responds with some variant of "Fuck you" until it got to Christmas Eve, then he came back with one of his own - wearing nothing but a santa hat and it was not on his head... well holy hot fuck damn that was something.

That phone call ended up being a facetime and it was a lot steamier than our other calls had been and honestly? It was great. I needed it. If I couldn't get to touch him or hold him then this was something we could do. By the time we'd exhausted ourselves it was pretty much Christmas morning. We said goodnight and I tried to sleep but I was a little worried about him, about what his day was gonna be like. At some point, Athena muscled her way into the room and up onto the bed.

"Hey, girl. You miss him too?"

She just huffed and I laughed. Harvey was such a big part of our lives now. I did eventually fall asleep but it didn't feel the same without his arm around me.