I don't mean to stay up for as long as I do but it is probably about two in the morning by the time I do go to put the crossword to one side and switch off the little lamp I keep next to the bed. I haven't finished it. Instead, I spent most of the time just going over things in my head - going over everything Harvey had said and what he told me about his sister. Which made me very glad I didn't have siblings. Because if I had someone treating me like that the entire time I was trying to figure myself out, I probably would have killed myself. There were times I came close, especially after dad. I remember one time standing at the Weir and looking down at the water and thinking it would be so easy to just... let go, y'know? But I didn't. Out of stubbornness and spite, I got back home and talked to mum and that's when we started looking at getting me into counselling and help with handling the bad thoughts.
When I turn over in bed and see Harvey there, blissfully asleep, I can't help but wonder how he managed to make it this far. He got himself onto the medication he needed for his anxiety. He dragged himself through a perfectly crafted hell and made it out of there. I think about the fact that Christmas isn't that far away. The thought of letting him go back to that environment is painful. Even if he only goes back for just that day and no longer, he doesn't deserve it. Harvey is a goddamn angel and is stronger than anyone else I know save my mum. I might ask her if Harvey can stay over Christmas break... I know she will probably say no but I can't not ask. I can't not try and keep him away from that.
I slip my hand around his waist and cuddle up into him. He hums in his sleep and it's like I can hear him smiling. His hand covers mine and I swear he just murmurs I love you to me. I chuckle and whisper it back to him, gently kissing his shoulder before I nestle back into the pillows. I don't fall asleep right away though. For a while I just lie there and enjoy being next to him. Enjoy feeling the heat of his body and the way the hair on his stomach tickles my forearm. The way he kind of hums as he snores. Even the way he curls one hand underneath the pillow. Harvey being here is still surreal. Us being boyfriends feels so good but like it is something out of a dream...
Hell, if this is a dream then I don't want to wake up.
I whisper good night and close my eyes with Harvey in my arms.
YOU ARE READING
Table For Two
RomansaHarvey Trent is just starting at Bath Spa University. He's come out to his flatmates because he doesn't want to hide anymore. He goes on a date within his first week and it goes... disastrously. The one saving grace is his server, Ali Doherty. Later...
