Table For Two

65 - Ali

The drive out to Harvey's took a little longer than I expected but then it was mum driving and she is nothing if not careful and considerate, even when I can tell she is exceedingly pissed off and by the fucking saints the sheer apoplectic rage filling this car right now is enough to power a Taylor Swift concert, I swear. Even Athena had picked up on it and was grumbling to herself as I rode with her in the back instead of sitting up the front with mum.

Eventually, we screech to a halt at the top of a driveway filled with three or four cars. It's a really nice house too. Like, a proper 'we definitely have money and take really nice holidays every year' nice. Makes me think for a moment of how me and mum haven't done more than go to Cornwall for the last couple years. But it's a brief moment of weakness which I quickly plaster over with sheer gay audacity. I text Harvey to say we are outside and then erupt out of the car door with Athena in front of me. There is a slight pang of guilt, me using her like a weapon since she's so big and intimidating to people who don't know her. But I know she would protect Harvey from anyone who tried to hurt him, she was never staying behind for this.

There is a lot of shouting coming from inside. Eventually the door opens and Harvey steps out with his bags with a fucking load of abusive mudslinging as an overture. But he looks so fucking relieved that I'm here and Athena is pulling me towards him and then I am hugging him as his bags hit the loose stones of the driveway and then I'm kissing him. Right in front of his shitty family's house. And neither one of us care because fuck them. All the way to Hell and back again. The door is still open and through it I can see what must be Harvey's brother actually smiling at us. We eventually break the kiss and Harvey turns and waves his brother over.

"Will, this is Ali. Ali, this is my little brother, Will" Harvey says.

"Hey, nice to meet you. Is this Athena?" his brother asks, sounding a lot like an overexcited twelve year old. I give Harvey an incredulous look.

"Uh... yeah. You want to pet her?"

"Oh my god can I?"

"Sure!"

And just like I had with Harvey when he'd first met her, I showed Will right where she likes to be pet and gave him a treat to give to her which she took greedily. She sniffed at Will's palm and must have recognised a bit of Harvey on him so he was immediately classed as a friend. I cocked my head back up towards the door while Will was fussing over Athena to listen to Hellbitch getting into it with... someone.

"How dare you two come into my house and ruin our Christmas! See, this is why no one wants to be around you people."

"Oh blow it out your ass, you gossip column reject. Who in the fuck do you think you are? Some overpampered princess who gets off on bullying people. It's fucking pathetic, Katherine."

"What gives you the right-"

"I give myself the goddamn right, you basic bitch. What exactly gives you the right when you should be focussed on getting your money back for those rat-assed extensions you think look natural and for that mascara that ain't all that waterproof. Guess someone was caught out and couldn't use daddy's cash to get their Lancôme goodies. Doesn't matter how much you try and spend though. You're always going to be a bitter, ugly whore at heart. Now excuse me while I parade my VERY GAY ASS out the door and support your VERY GAY BROTHER and his VERY GAY BOYFRIEND."

There were more exchanges being had but this was way louder. Pretty soon after, three more people exited the house. One was an older woman with a mass of deep brown curls and slight crows feet at the corners of her ridiculously blue eyes. The taller of the two guys looked like a thicker set version of Harvey's dad from the pictures I'd seen and the second... just, wow. The outfit, the accessories, the silver hair, the general air of 'fuck with me at your own peril'. I have no idea who he is right now but I think we would get arrested if we got drunk together so that's already some good vibes I'm picking up. I turned to Harvey expectantly.

"Oh... sorry. Ali, this is my aunt Gina, my uncle Harry and my cousin Matty. Everyone, this is Ali."

"Okay, correction. I am officially your VERY GAY COUSIN, Matty" his cousin shouts back towards the door as it is slammed shut. He cackles like he's one of the Sanderson sisters. I'm obsessed.

"Good to meet you" I say and smile at them. Harvey's uncle just smiles back which... fair enough I guess.

"So you're the infamous Ali. Nice to meet you too!" Matty enthuses and hugs me before just kneeling down and fussing over Athena. She has never looked happier and Matty is right in her good books. He looks back up at me.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to assume it was cool to pet her but she is so damn adorable. My partner has a Husky. I love the little bitch so much but she makes so much noise."

"Ugh, don't they just? There's one guy in Bath that has a pair of them and on GOD they are the loudest pair of dogs. It's like walking near air raid sirens. Literally the only time I have ever seen Athena bark is when those two start on their bullshit."

Harvey is just grinning at the pair of us.

"Matty if you could not steal my boyfriend with dog talk please."

We all laugh and his Aunt comes up to say hi as my mum arrives from the car. They exchange pleasantries in the way only middle-aged mums do before Harvey's aunt descends on me.

"Ali! Oh aren't you handsome. I'm Harvey's favouritest auntie Gina. Now, you best look after him otherwise I'll not be pleased, okay? And I did tell him he is welcome to stay with us over Christmas and that extends to you as well. I'll get Matty to send you both our details so we can stay in touch. Oh and your mother is an absolute peach! Love her to bits and she's always welcome to come round for a glass of wine."

It... was a lot. And definitely the opposite of Harvey's energy in like, every way imaginable. But she clearly supports Harvey and that's good. He was so worried about his entire family hating him. At least he has people in his family who are there for him.

Matty peels his mother away from me so I can, y'know, breathe. Her perfume is doing the most. We chatted for a bit longer. Will spends most of that time fussing with Athena and that bitch is thoroughly content with any amount of fussing. Before long, some banshee who can only be Harvey's mum shrieks that she is going to call the police because we are trespassing. Me and Matty both flip her the bird and, surprisingly, so does Gina. Get it, girl.

We all leave and agree to meet up at some point. Matty wants to introduce us to his partner which is neat. Just from the look on his face I can see Harvey really appreciates that. We pile into our separate cars. Harvey climbs in the back and takes Athena with him while I sit up front with mum. Within five minutes of us taking off, he looks upset but closes his eyes and ends up sleeping the entire way back. I turn to mum.

"Sorry we missed dinner. I know we don't always get the chance to do dinner properly at Christmas and now..." I sigh. She puts a reassuring hand on my knee.

"Good thing I bought extra stuffing and such this time instead of just enough for us. I'd rather eat a little later than planned than to have Harvey suffer through any hardship."

"Even if it means you miss the King's speech?" I ask, nodding at the clock on the dashboard. She gives me the most evil side-eye glance possible.

"Don't push it."

I giggle a little.

"Thanks mum. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart. And we'll talk about what happens going forward, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you better than you think, Alister Doherty. We'll talk about living arrangements but first, dinner."

I nod in agreement. Athena woofs her assent softly from the back seat.