Tough Love (Book 2)

43. Dont Leave

~Zinhle Mpumelelo~

"I am HIV positive."

I blinked.

"The doctor called with the result from Monday's test."

"This can't be real," I breathed out. "This can't be-" I got up, "No... no it's not-it's not- this is impossible." I paced up and down. "We are like three? Four months? Outside the window period? It's impossible. You can't have it. I-i-it's not possible."

Leon got up and held me by my shoulders. He looked into my eyes with tears in his own. I felt my insides crumbling as the realisation started to settle. I felt as a heavy tear drop fell down my face. Leon held my hands and caressed them with his fingers.

His actions made my heart go soft and my legs grow shaky. I was struggling to stand.

He held my hands tight for a moment while he mouthed, "I'm sorry." He cleared his throat, trying to get his voice back then tried again, "I'm sorry," his voice croaked. He kissed my hands, his tears dropped onto them. He held them against his forehead, my heart didn't know how to respond. "Forgive me if you can." He kissed each of my hands again before he let me go.

"It's ok," I stated with a broken voice, my heart full of pain. "We can... we can make it work right?" He picked up his crutches and looked into my eyes once more before he turned to leave. I grabbed his arm, "Where are you going? We're getting married soon. We need to go see our house-"

"Forgive me if you can," he repeated as tears began to stain his red face.

"No!"

"We can't go on-"

"Leon no! No! We made it this far Leon," I cried, "dont hurt me like this!"

"Zee don't make this harder... please." He turned to face me, "This is what's best Zee. I never want to give it to you, ever-"

"But Leon I don't care-"

He held my face and placed his forehead against mine. I held his arms and closed my eyes. "Please don't leave," I whispered. "I beg you Leon, don't leave. Please... I love you. I love you so much please, don't go... hm? Please." I kissed his lips and wiped his tears, "Dont go... Dont go... please stay..."

He sniffed and pulled away. "Leon," I sobbed, "please..."

I felt hands on my shoulders as Ryan took a few steps forward. "Forgive me if you can," Leon repeated before he turned away.

"No! We can make it work Leon!" I called trying to follow him but the hands pulled me back.

Ryan opened the door for him.

"Leon! Come back! Please! It's ok! We can still make it work!" I called trying to break free and follow him.

Leon stopped for a moment in the doorway. He looked up at the ceiling then walked on without looking back.

I sat down and broke down crying. Karla sat down beside me and held me in a hug. "Why did he leave?" I sobbed. "Why?"

"It'll be ok Zee."

I sat there in tears for a long time while Karla tried to comfort me. It wasn't working. Anything she said wasn't processed. Though there was one thing... she said, "Leon loves you and he wants to protect you."

"Protect me from what?! His love?! Our future?! I don't want his protection! I want him!"

"Zee please understand..."

"No! I won't understand cause there is nothing to understand! We agreed! We said that no matter what happens we'll always have a future together, that's what we agreed on! So tell me, how do you expect me to understand why he left?! Huh?"