Here With Me - A Formula 1 Story

Feels This Good

It's our third day in Sardinia and the boys just left to play golf while I opted out of that outing. Instead I'm currently lacing up my old running shoes and heading out on a run around the resort and along the beach. I grab my phone, key to the suite and my new AirPods that Charles had sent to the suite yesterday when he found out I don't have any headphones of my own. Before I start running, I put on a playlist of house music curtesy of the one and only Lando Norris. It's funny to me how different my life is in only a span of 5-6 weeks. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be on vacation with Charles Leclerc and becoming close friends with Lando Norris, Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet. It's definitely surreal and I can't help but feel grateful. 

'Feels This Good' starts playing and I set off on my run. I have no destination in mind or distance, but after a few minutes I find myself approaching the beach. For the next 10 minutes I run down the beach, listening to my playlist and trying to figure out how I feel about Charles and what I want from our relationship. He's been great the past week and a half, and I know I like him, probably even love him at this point. But I'm just not sure if I can trust him fully with my heart. 

My emotions are all over the place by the time I'm turning around to head back to the resort and all I feel is confused. A part of me is ready to dive in head first with him, fuck the consequences and if I get hurt. But then there's another part of me, the girl that got turned away by her family and friends during the hardest time in her life, that doesn't think she can handle any more heartbreak.

By the time I make it to the resort, I'm exhausted and no longer running. I somehow find myself walking along the golf course and in the distance I see three male figures. When I get closer I realize it's the boys, so I beeline towards them to see how their game is going. I take my headphones out as I approach them from behind. They haven't noticed me yet, so I can hear what they are talking about. 

"So how are things with my Mama going? She doesn't tell me anything." Ezra asks Charles and I stop in my tracks. 

"I honestly don't know. She's kind of hot and cold. Right when I feel like I'm making progress in getting her to give me another chance, she seems to pull back. I'm sort of at a loss on what to do." He says sadly and I instantly feel bad for making him feel this way even though I have every right to feel what I'm feeling as well. This is what I mean by being confused.

"She's just scared. She hasn't had the best luck with people sticking around or choosing her. My grandparents are assholes who completely abandoned her and I think she feels like anyone she gets close to will do the same." Ezra responds and tears prickle my eyes. I'm surprised to hear him say that about my parents after the conversation we had when I found out about them sending him money. 

"Even if we didn't end up working out in the long run, I would never abandon her." Charles replies and Ezra laughs lightly.

"Haven't you already abandoned her once? Whose to say you wouldn't do it again?"

"I didn't abandon her, I was just confused about my feelings towards her and overwhelmed." 

"What are you feelings towards her?" Ez counters and waits patiently for Charles to respond.

"I'm falling in love with her." Charles responds after a moment and my heart thuds in my chest. 

"Hmm, I hope that's true because she's already in love with you. And if you hurt her, I'm going to have to take your seat at Ferrari." Ezra tells him and my stomach drops. How does he know I'm in love with Charles? Is it that obvious? I wish I could see Charles face as he processes what Ezra just said but since I'm behind them I can't. Arthur laughs at Ezra's threat though and starts teasing Charles so he ends up not responding because they are all laughing now. That's when I realize I need to make myself known.