Here With Me - A Formula 1 Story

Ruin My Life

Lydia's POV

"Shit, I just fucked up, didn't I?" I ask my group of friends and all of them nod at my question. A resounding yes all around and now I feel awful for joking about what happened. I should have known better, especially with Charles. I shut my eyes tightly to try to keep the tears that I feel coming at bay.

"I really don't think you understand how much you truly mean to him, Lydia. How badly it would destroy him if something were to happen to you." Max tells me, always the one to tell the blunt truth and I flinch as I realize how stupid I am. He's already lost so much in life, and even though I'm here and fine, his mind went immediately to the worse case scenario. If I were him, I'd do the same. In a way we are the same. We both have trauma filled pasts and we both feel abandoned but for different reasons entirely. And although I don't know exactly how he feels about me, I know he truly cares about me and wants me safe.

"I need to go talk to him." I announce, standing abruptly and turning to go to him. Arthur walks out then, meeting me near the hallway and stops me.

"He's taking a nap Lydia. You need to wait to talk to him." He tells me, his tone sounding disappointed in me and I don't blame him. I silently nod my head letting him know I won't bother Charles even though all I want to do is apologize to him.

For the next hour the girls start getting ready for day two of the festival. I can't get ready because my things are in Charles' room so I'm just watching them get ready and gossip. Morgan is telling us about how Tyler won't leave her alone and has now resorted to talking to her through a shared note they have through their phones since she blocked him on everything else. I'm distracted though and feel like an awful friend, to both Morgan and Charles.

"Babe, why don't you go see if he's awake. Stop torturing yourself." Morgan tells me, causing me to shake my thoughts away. I turn my attention to her and she's looking at me with no anger or annoyance that I haven't been paying attention for the last thirty minutes.

"Are you sure?" I ask, because if she tells me she needs me I will stay and she knows that by the expression she gives me.

"I'm positive. B and Kelly are here. Go check on your man." She tells me with a wink and I can't help but blush as I smile at her saying 'your man'. Is he my man? Do I want him to be my man? Absolutely. But it's going to take us some time to get to that point again. I stand from my spot on Morgan's floor and head out the door and down the hall to Charles' room. I knock lightly on the door but there's no answer and I frown. Opening the door, I see him still sleeping and I can't help but stare at him. He's beautiful and looks so at peace while he sleeps.

Trying not to wake him up, I crawl into the bed with him and curl up beside him. I rest my head on his shoulder near the crook of his neck and rest my hand on his chest, as my fingers trace gently over his heart. The feeling of being close to him again is overwhelming and I realize in this moment, how much I've truly missed him. I've missed the simple moments when it's just us two. The laughs, the deep conversations, the plans we made, the sex but most of all I just miss existing with him, doing mundane things with him and being perfectly content. As I lay there with him, I think back on our little time we had together and how I had never been as truly happy as I was then, besides the day that Ezra was born, before all of the stress and complications of being a single teen mom started.

"What are you thinking about mon soleil?" I hear Charles whisper and I startle, not realizing that he had woken up as I was cuddling him. I go to move away from him, but he catches my hand and holds me firmly against him, and pulls me closer.

"You're not going anywhere. I've missed this." He whispers, as he places a soft kiss to my forehead and butterflies fill my stomach. After a few moments Charles asks his question again and I contemplate how I should answer him.