Here With Me - A Formula 1 Story

Real Love Baby

About 1 month later

"Okay, what's wrong mon soleil? Ever since you got back from London, you've been acting off." Charles asks me on the car ride to the hotel we're staying at in Azerbaijan. I glance toward him from where I was silently looking out the window at the scenery passing by and sigh as I look at his beautiful face.

Tears well in my eyes as I think about what's bothering me and I hate myself for it. I look between him and the driver, wondering if I should tell him we will talk about it later when we're alone, but the next thing I know, Charles pushes a button, and a divider pops up between us and the driver.

"Bianca is pregnant." I explain once it's as private as we're going to get for right now, and I watch as Charles' eyebrows furrow with confusion.

"Is Lando the father?" He asks curiously and I roll my eyes because who else would be the father? But I guess it's an understandable question due to all of the drama that has unfolded over the last month.

"Yes, of course he is." I respond with a small smile and a shake of my head.

"Well, that's great news!" He exclaims and tears well in my eyes as I watch his reaction. It is wonderful news, and I'm so happy for the two of them but I can't help but feel overwhelming sadness because Charles and I have had no luck. Yet, Bianca gets pregnant on accident while on birth control. It just doesn't seem fair. I know that's selfish of me, but I can't help it.

"It is." I choke out as happily as I can, but a single tear escapes my eye and I quickly look away from Charles, so he doesn't see it. I'm not lucky enough though, and a moment later he's leaning towards me and pulling my face towards him gently so we're looking at one another. The way he's looking at me with so much love and concern makes me break down into full sobs as he pulls me tightly into his arms.

"It's going to happen for us too, baby. I promise you." He whispers into my hair and gives me a sweet kiss. The comfort he's providing it absolutely wonderful, and I try my hardest to believe his words but it's just so hard to when I feel like the opposite is true.

"Something must be wrong with me though; it shouldn't take this long. Your mom really was right, I'm just too old." I sob, finally saying my biggest fear out loud after toeing around the subject for months. I feel it in my gut that I'm the reason it hasn't happened yet. Charles pulls away from me suddenly, his hands grabbing my face a bit forcefully as he makes me look at him. His expression is full of anger and sadness, and it makes me cry even harder. I don't want to cause him pain or stress but I'm doing exactly that.

"No, Lydia! Not a single thing is wrong with you; you're perfect and my maman was not right! Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't even mean anything is wrong! It just means the timing hasn't been right yet." He practically growls at me, begging me to believe his words. I squeeze my eyes shut to hide from him, because as much as I want to believe him, I don't.

Charles groans in annoyance and I feel him rest his forehead against mine and sigh deeply. Guilt flows through me. I shouldn't be stressing him out like this, especially when he needs to be focusing on this weekend and the race. With a sigh of my own, I reach up and pull his hands from my face and give him a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry for stressing you out. Maybe I should go back to Monaco." I tell him when I pull away and I watch as his eyes flash open and another look of anger is aimed at me.

"If you think that I'd be less stressed if you left, you're insane. Do you not want to be here with me?" He asks brusquely and my heart clenches in my chest.

"Of course, I want to be here with you. I always want to be where you are." I tell him quickly, upset that he thinks I don't want to be.

"Then stop, mon soleil. Stop thinking that I don't want you here because you're causing me stress. I promise you; I know how to handle it." He explains and I think back on all the times he has raced through stressful and heartbreaking circumstances and I realize he's telling the truth.