Here With Me - A Formula 1 Story

I know it won't work

Saturday in Paris ended up being so much fun and I was so happy to experience a Red Bull event. I was able to meet a ton of new people and make some awesome industry connections. We even got to meet some of the athletes who were very friendly and attractive. We ended up partying with some of them at a local club. On Sunday morning Kelly left for Monza and I squeezed her right, not sure when I'm going to see her again. Her eyes were glistening while she climbed into her car and I can't help but feel sad about her leaving. Jeremy and Morgan did a good job cheering me up and distracting me though by taking me to the Louvre where we spent the day exploring. 

By the time the Grand Prix started I couldn't stay away from my phone and was religiously checking the standings. When we get back to the suite, Max was leading on the 50th lap with Charles close behind followed by Lando. I'm chewing on my bottom lip as my nerves set in and I'm silently praying that Charles is able to pass Max. In the final lap of the race Charles gets DRS and is able to overtake Max in the last chicane. Jeremy and I are yelling at my phone while we watch and tears prick my eyes with happiness for Charles when he finishes the race in first place. Jeremy is cursing, having wanted Max to win but he still ended in P2, with Lando finishing P3.

The radio feed for Charles pops up on the screen and Xavi's voice is congratulating him for the win, and you can hear cheers from the Ferrari garage in the background but Charles doesn't seem very excited when he responds saying thank you to the team. I can't help but wonder why he's not celebrating, he hasn't won in Monza since 2019 and he always said how Monza was his favorite memory so far in his formula 1 career. You would think this would be a huge deal for him. The commentators even comment how Charles seems off and they wonder what's going on with him. 

In my peripherals I can see Jeremy staring at me but I can't stop staring at the screen. I watch as Charles sits in his car for a moment before finally climbing out and congratulating Max and Lando and going to his team for their celebration before going through the process of weighing himself and taking off all of his gear. When he takes off his baklava, my heart surges in my chest. He looks so devastatingly handsome, and the camera is in his face as he goes to walk over to be interviewed. When the journalist asks him how he's feeling, Charles finally smiles but it's not quite right. It's not his typical smile that makes his eyes sparkle and I frown. 

He discusses how the race went for him and how it was overtaking Max, who has now stepped up to the journalist as well. Charles excuses himself to the cool down room with a wave to the crowd as Max continues his interview, followed by Lando. In the cool down room, Charles is quiet while Max enters the room and comments on parts of the race while they wait for Lando. My stomach is in knots, wanting to know why Charles is acting the way he is. What is wrong with him? 

"Why do you look like you're going to cry?" Morgan asks, startling me and I look away from the screen of my phone to see Jeremy looking at me with sympathy and Morgan looking at me with confusion.

"He's not acting like himself. Something is wrong." I mumble as I turn my vision back to the screen as the podium presentation start. Charles finally makes his way to stand on the number 1 spot as the crowd goes crazy cheering for him. He waves and smiles again but it's still not right. I guess to the normal person he looks normal, but I know better. Something is wrong. 

"He looks fine to me." Morgan responds, now looking at the screen as the Monaco national anthem begins to play and the camera zooms in on Charles face. His eyes are glistening as he listens and again he looks devastatingly beautiful. I wish I was there to see this in person, so very proud of him even if he's not proud of himself. 

"I don't know, something's off." I say as the trophies are distributed and the boys pick up their champagne for their celebration. 

I watch with a soft smile as I see Max and Lando go after Charles, who is now acting a bit more like himself. Watching the three of them does something funny to my heart. It makes me smile, seeing three of the five most important men in my life celebrate their accomplishments together. Jeremy eventually turns my phone off, since all I'm doing is staring at the screen. I didn't realize that I had tears falling out of my eyes until I turn to him and he wipes my cheeks.