I was a nervous wreck. I felt like I shouldn't have been because I should have the upper hand in this situation - but I don't.
I was meeting Meredith soon and I was on edge.
I had told Ashton a couple hours before, of course he told me words of encouragement. Although nothing really helped.
"It'll be fine - just listen to her speak, say what you want to say and then boom - it's over." Ashton says to me as I pace the bedroom floor. I don't know why I agreed to meeting her. Fuck.
"The thing is - I don't want to hear what she had to say. I know it'll only anger me more." Although it wasn't really anger I held, it was more sadness and resentment, I wasn't going to tell anyone that though.
"Yeah but baby you agreed to it, just put yourself in her shoes." He says softly, he was only trying to help me.
"I know," I sigh, shaking my head, "but it's hard because she isn't even putting herself in my shoes." I retort and Ashton sighs, nodding his head.
"Well you don't know that - she could be mentally beating herself down- like you." He whispers the last part which I chose to ignore.
"I doubt she is, she calls me 24/7 pleading. She only wants to make sure she doesn't seem like a bad guy - but she is." I say suddenly getting annoyed.
"Baby - listen to me when I say this... Your father - he took you. He was the one that took you to his girlfriend - Meredith didn't do anything to you." Ashton says and at this point he was standing infront of me, his hands on either side of my face.
"My father is not the bad guy." I quickly defend, my father didn't mean any harm.
"I'm not saying he is. But I'm just saying that your pointing fingers at the wrong person." He says softly, I want to be angry at Ashton for being so damn right but I can't because he is so damn right and I can't deny his truth.
"I know." I sigh, ending the conversation.
He held more wisdom then he lead on. I was slowly learning that in our relationship. He always had a resolution, he always spoke with positivity and intellect. For a college dropout, he was damn smart.
Although his words were stained in my memory, continually reminding me of why I was even meeting Meredith right now. My conscious, my filthy conscious always fucks it up and makes me second guess shit.
But I guess it was too late right now since I see Meredith walking towards my table. My hands are sweaty, bones shaking, I was wearing my sunglasses on my face - I needed my shield.
Meredith smiles at me, but once she realizes I don't return it, she stops smiling and slides into the chair across from me.
Here we go..
-
Meredith's POV
She was so grown. Last time I saw her she had barely been born until been taken away from me a few weeks later.
She definitely took my looks - the dark hair, brown eyes, pale skin. She got her fathers stubborn yet strong attitude, that's for sure.
"Shall we order?" I speak, clearing my throat. She wore sunglasses on her face, her hands under the table. I wish I could read her like any other mother, I wish I knew if she was nervous or scared or hurt. But I couldn't because she was practically a stranger, as is I.
"I already did. Appetizers." She says quickly. I knew she wanted to get this over with - to get rid of me.
I nod, my lips falling into an 'O'.
