17 missed calls and 8 texts.
I didn't open a single one. I was pissed and quite frankly hurt. I thought Ashton was better than that. I thought he was always honest with me - I thought he was so caring and sweet for being so patient with me.
I guess I can't blame him. Its my fault. If I wasn't so damn damaged then maybe he would have never been so annoyed with me.
Dammit, I'm covering for him even when I shouldn't! He told his mother my business, business that should have stayed between me and him. Who knows what else he told his mother.
Fucking hell. The sun was starting to set and I didn't know where I was. And this damn dress didn't help me since it was pretty breezy, making me pretty chilled.
I contemplated on calling a taxi but I didn't even know where the hotel was. Just my luck.
I sighed as I pulled my phone out at the exact same time that Ashton calls me.
"Kat? Why haven't you answered my calls? Where are you?" He asks in a panicked voice.
"I'm on 8th street - sitting on a bench, can you come get me?" I ask, keeping it short. I had to not let this go. He basically lost some of my trust, only some because to be honest - Ashton can fucking call me out on all my shit to my face and I'll probably still tell him I love him the next day.
"Okay." He says and I nod, although the can't see me. I hang up and stare at my feet, swinging slightly under the bench.
Ashton will be here any minute to get me.... How the hell can I face him right now?
-
I'm quietly sat in the passenger seat, my arms crossed over my chest. I just wanted to go home at this point.
"Are you going to talk to me and tell me why you walked off?" Ashton asks as he drives, I see the hotel come into view and I'm glad he didn't take us back to his mothers.
"No." I answer like a child. I honestly just wanted a cup of coffee - or beer - and to go to sleep.
"You have to tell me what's wrong - I'm not a mind reader." He says and I chuckle dryly, nodding at him. "Apparently I'm not either."
He furrows his eyebrows at me but then turns back to face the road, his hand grabbing the keys from the ignition and turning the car off.
I sigh and jump out the car, waiting for him as we walk to our room in silence.
-
I locked myself in the bathroom, taking off the stupid banana dress and putting on black leggings and my hoodie, my makeup coming off soon after.
I creep out the bathroom, fully aware Ashton is waiting for me. I notice him in the kitchen eating a sandwich so I quickly walk to the bed, sliding under the covers and hiding away from the world - from Ashton. Well atleast trying to.
"Babe, talk to me. Honestly - I want this resolved so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend." Ashton says from the edge of the bed, his arms on either side of me.
I shaking my head from under the covers. I was a coward - I had never called anyone out when what they said bothered me. I was slightly a pushover in that department.
"Baby, come on. What happened? One minute your in the living room and then randomly blocks away from the house." I groan at his words, going deeper into the covers, moving so his arms weren't on the sides of me.
"Kat - seriously tell me what is wrong." Ashton says his voice slightly annoyed and that's when I finally speak up, throwing the covers over my head and sitting up.
"Why? Am I pissing you off?" I say with attitude. I had to keep telling myself in my head that this was right. Sticking up for myself was right. He had no right to tell his mother my fucking backstory.
Ashton stares at me confused, his mouth slightly agape.
"You heard." He states. I ignore him as I get out of the bed, walking towards the kitchen but I'm quickly stopped by Ashton, my back getting pushed lightly to the wall - my lips falling into an 'O'.
"How much of it?" He asks, his hands holding my arms so I can't escape.
"Enough to know you told your mother I always wore black and was sad. Like really Ashton? Out of all the adjectives to describe your girlfriend you say that?" I say slightly agitated.
"I described you more than that - she just said that because you were a total opposite today." I roll my eyes, turning my head so I didn't look at his eyes. Goddamn did I want to forgive him already.
"That's what made you leave?" He asks and I shake my head, my attention turning back to him.
"How much did you tell your mom about me?" I ask, my voice stronger than I thought it would sound.
"What?"
"How much did you tell your mother about me? What else does she know besides Kyle and fucking Bethany and my damn mother situation. How much does she fucking know." I say with anger, wiggling in his grasp. I just wanted to push at his chest and cry out of frustration. Who knows what his mother thinks of me.
"N-Nothing else! I swear!" Ashton says and I shut my eyes, tears in my eyes. I didn't want to cry right now. I should have the upper hand right fucking now.
"Does she know I was in love with Kyle? O-Or that my best friend was an asshole to me? That I got treated like dirt. Does she know that I always wore my sunglasses or that I never wanted to fucking hang out with you until you basically invaded my fucking life!" I shout out of anger, pushing Ashton slightly and walking into the kitchen.
I grab the closest water bottle and drink it down, pools of tears ready to fall - actually - some already fell. Great.
"Kat - your being irrational right now, I don't see the big deal in her knowing that stuff about you." Ashton says standing at the entrance of the kitchen.
"I actually am not." I state matter of factly although I know I am but I don't care. "And it is a big fucking deal. I thought you wouldn't tell anyone those things. I thought that shit would stay between me and you. Why the fuck would I want your mother to know that I had a broken relationship with my best friend and loved someone who didn't love me?"
"I told her that before we were even serious. I had to vent to someone and so I went to her!" Ashton says, his eyes wide.
"Oh yeah because you were so fed up with me and annoyed. Honestly Ashton for you to tell me to voice my fucking thoughts and feelings you sure are a fucking hypocrite." I say, wiping under my eyes then crossing my arms over my chest.
"How could I tell you when you were going through shit! I wanted to help you without putting myself first!" He says shouting, now he's the one angry.
"But that's the thing Ashton! We are together! Me and you, it's not all about me!" I shout back, shaking my head afterwards.
"But I care about you Kat! A fucking lot! And for you to come and think I'm a fucking hypocrite is bullshit! I put you before myself and you damn well know that." Ashton shouts once again and I dryly chuckle, nodding my head at him as more tears escape my eyes.
"I guess I wouldn't know huh, since I have bad fucking judgment." Without waiting for his response I walk past him and back into the main room, grabbing my purse, phone, and overnight bag.
"Where are you going?" Ashton asks as I make my way for the door.
"Somewhere not here." I say pushing passed him.
I just needed to get away from him and recollect myself.
-
The end is coming my lovelies
