"Isn't this better? Like we're good now." Ashton says as we walk side by side down a street. It was getting late and it was the third time I say Ashton, just this week.
I've gotten to know him and he's gotten to know a bit of me. He still treads lightly but I'm more comfortable with him then I thought I would ever be.
"I guess, you know, at first I thought you stalked me alittle. I mean, why were you even at the pizza place at 3 am?" I chuckle hoping he actually didn't stalk me.
"I was with friends and as I was leaving I say you." He says shrugging and I nod. We walk in silence, my body and his nudging together every step or two.
I knew I found him attractive, that was a given but I was going to stop this cycle of liking someone who doesn't like me. Why have feelings anyway?
I know my fate is to die alone and that's what I will do. Besides, I love someone else. How could I possibly like Ashton if I love someone else.
"What are you thinking about?" Ashton's voice brings me back to reality. "H-Huh what?" I say looking at him then the ground.
"You touched the bridge of your sunglasses 3 times within the past minute and we werent even talking so obviously your thinking." He says and I try to not let my heart flutter at his gesture of knowing the little things I unconsciously do but of course, my heart flutters.
"Nothing important." I shrug, touching the bridge of my glasses. "Then you can tell me." He smirks at me and I bite my lip.
"Have you ever been in love?" I blurt out and I instantly turn my head to the opposite side, why would I ask him that.
"Uh, yeah I guess." He says and I can feel his eyes boring into me. "Why?"
"No reason." I say putting my shaking hands into my pockets and looking at my feet. "Obviously there is, just tell me." He says with a slight chuckle making me want to tell him but I can't. Atleast not now.
"It's nothing Ashton," I say shaking my head and biting my lip. His name felt nice coming out my mouth. Stop it. "Alright, I'll let that one go. But anyways, do you want to get something to eat?" He asks, and I silently praise him for changing the subject.
"Sure." I nod and we begin walking back to his car.
-
"I have Netflix you can pick a movie." I shrug unlocking the door, Ashton following behind me into my house. What was I thinking?
"Alright, are we eating in the living room?" He asks and I nod. He walks over to the couch and sits down, putting the Chinese food on the coffee table.
"So you live here alone?" He asks and I shake my head as I grab the remote. "My best friend lives here." I say looking at him then waiting for the menu to pop up.
"Oh right, where is she?" If I knew. "Not sure, probably on a date." I shrug and once Netflix pops up, I sit next to him, handing him the remote.
"What type of movies do you like?" Ashton asks as he skins through the numerous titles. "All types." I shrug and Ashton chuckles.
"Alright, that gives me no help. But let's watch K-POP Extreme Survival!" Ashton says happily as he turns to me. "K what? I don't even care, I just want food." I say shaking my head and grabbing a take out box. I grab a plastic fork, lifting my legs so my knees are to my chest. I open the box and stick my fork in, before I put it my mouth I take my sunglasses off and put a mouthful of shrimp fried rice into my mouth.
As I'm chewing I look to the TV to see it hasn't moved, I turn to find Ashton grinning as if he won the lottery. "What?" I ask putting another forkful into my mouth.
"Nothing." He says smiling to himself as he starts the show. Shortly after he grabs his take out and begins eating.
"Did you know it'll be in Korean?" I say slightly terrified. "Yah, for the most part." He says chuckling and I raise a brow. This kid liked Korean shows..
"Have you watched this before?" I ask looking at the side of his head. "No, I just picked it because it seemed interesting." I nod slowly turning back to the TV.
"Can you pass me the soy sauce." Ashton says and I nod, leaning over I grab two packets and turn to him, giving him both. "Thanks."
-
"That was slightly frightening." I say furrowing my eyebrows. "It was hilarious, you need to smile more. I have never seen you smile." He says biting his lip and I look away setting my attention from his lips.
"I smile. By a lot, but I do." I defend myself shrugging. "I'm going to make you smile or laugh. Okay? Okay. Your teachers asks you to give her two pronouns, you go 'who, me?'." He says smiling and I stare at him blanket, that was clever not so much funny.
"Alright... Um, okay heres a good one. Have you seen the movie constipation?" Ashton asks and I shake my head. "No..?"
"Neither have I, it hasn't came out yet!" Ashton says bursting into laughter and I watch as his eyes crinkle and he leans back alittle, his arms going to his stomach.
I instinctively smile at the beautiful sight of him, he was just so bright and radiating. "Your smiling!" He says bouncing a little on the couch, making him nudge knees with mine, I instantly feet heat from the touch.
"Well, yeah." I shrug, my smile instantly going away. "Aw don't stop smiling, you have such a cute smile." He says and give him a small smile, which is enough for him.
"See, it's perfect." He says staring at my face. I look down at my hands on my lap, fiddling with my fingers.
"Kat, whatever your going through, it doesn't have to make you not smile. Something has to make you smile, let it." Ashton says putting his hand on my cheek, lifting my head to face his. He had gotten real close.
I gulp, my eyes trained on his lips. Ashton's tongue swipes over them and I begin to feel him move closer, my heart beating in my throat.
Ashton's lips ghost over mine, and I close my eyes as he pushes them on to mine. "Lorena! I'm home!" Bethany, my best friend yells as I hear the door shut closed. I shoot up from the couch as soon as she walks into the living room.
"Who's this?" She asks staring at Ashton and I gulp, my hands going to my thighs to rub the sweat off. "Ashton." I say grabbing my sunglasses and putting them on.
"Finally done being in love with that kid from school? What was his name? Kenny... Kris.."
"Kyle." I mutter and she nods walking out. "Yeah him." I sigh as soon as she leaves and I begin to take the remains of Ashton and I's food to the kitchen.
What the hell was I thinking? Why did I let him kiss me. Why did I like it so much. I lean on the counter, closing my eyes. My face is radiating heat more than ever before, my sunglasses bringing my anxiety alittle lower.
"Kat." Ashton's voice say from behind me and I instantly close my eyes. "Um, it's pretty late maybe you should go." I say quietly, turning around to face him. My fingers touch the bridge of my sunglasses and Ashton nods, running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, your right.." He turns back out into the living room and I follow him as he grabs his car keys and walks to the front door.
I lean my body against the door frame as Ashton turns around to face me. "Will I hear from you or do I have to wait 2 weeks to see you again." He says and I look at my feet, how did he know that I wouldn't text him?
"I-um... Have a goodnight." I say biting my lip and Ashton's body seems deflated, his smile nowhere seen. "Yeah... You too." He says turning around and I walk back into my house, my mind swirling with things that I didn't want to think about.
Like the way I liked Ashton kissing me, his lips velvet against mine. Confused on who I like: Kyle or Ashton. Not that it mattered. Ashton couldn't like someone like me. Surely he's just being friendly. The thought that is also bothering me is that if I stop trying with Ashton will be continue to try and be my friend?
Too much to think about, my body suddenly feeling heavy with confusion.
I sigh once last time as I walk to my room and going under the covers. Wanting to escape from the world.
