You Can Only Love Someone So Far//Avenged Sevenfold •M.Shadows•

Not The Only One

I just stood there looking at him. Why didn't he say anything earlier? Then I honestly wouldn't have kissed him, or fucking slept with him. I didn't want a relationship. Fact is, I don't think I really needed one.

I shook my head. "I don't see why your fucking yelling at me. You were dancing with that fake blonde headed wannabe Barbie! I told you that this wasn't a relationship, and you said that was fine. I can't!" I said shaking my head.

"Why can't you? Delilah, face it, wether the both of us like it or not, there's something fucking happening between us!" He yelled. Brian and I have never fought. Usually it was Matt and I that were yelling at each other.

"I'm scared!" I flat out yelled. "I wouldn't hurt you, I'd never fucking hurt you." Brian said softly. I shook my head. "I've heard that before, and in the end, I did end up getting hurt." I told him, no longer yelling, tears starting to sting my eyes.

Brian sighed as he dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his shoe and walked over to me. "Delilah." He said with the same tone. "What?" I asked, pissed off and confused. "Look at me, please look at me." He continued. I just shook my head and looked at my feet.

I then felt his hands on either side of my face, he moved my head so I could look at him. His face was genuine, his brown eyes absorbed my tear filled blue ones. "Now look at me." He stated again, his tone was gentle.

I stood there staring at him. Before either one of us said anything we just stood there fucking stupidly, just staring at each other.

"I, will never fucking hurt you." He said. I lightly shook my head. "Brian." I said, not wanting to hear a lie that I've heard so many different times from too many different people.

"No, listen. I am not anything, like your past relationships. I am not that fuck face Michael, or that other dick, Anthony. I'd never fucking put you through what those dickheads put you through. You're too fucking beautiful to have ever been or to be treated that way." He continued.

I didn't know what to say. "I-" I started but I was cut off by Brian kissing me. I wanted to cry more. I was supposed to ward off relationships, but fucking Brian was making that hard.

I pulled away and looked at him. I shook my head. "I, W-I need space." I told him. He looked at me. "Do you have an answer?" He asked. I shook my head. "I don't fucking know, Brian!" I yelled out of sadness as I ran back into the club before he could say anything.

We shared a hotel room for Christ sake, we'd have plenty of fucking time to talk. As soon as I entered the club I looked around and didn't see Lacey or Gena. I really needed to talk to one of them.

I instead saw Matt, he was smiling. He looked at me and his smile dropped. He started walking towards me. "Delilah? What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head. "Where'd Lacey and Gena go?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"Zacky and Johnny took them back to their hotel rooms." He told me. I nodded. "What about Jimmy?" I questioned. "He went up to his room earlier. Just tell me what's wrong." Matt said softly.

"We can talk, I just, I don't want to be at this stupid fucking club anymore." I sniffled. He nodded and grabbed my hand. "We can go to my room." Matt explained. Normally, if someone grabbed my hand, I'd pull away. But Brian and Matt's, they didn't bother me.

Until Brian went on about him wanting a relationship. As we were walking through the door of the club, Matt interlaced his fingers with mine. I sighed. I didn't know what to do about any of this.

Brian saw me and smiled, but then he looked to the side of me and saw Matt, then he saw our hands and he rolled his eyes and scoffed.
I hated this.

We walked past him and Matt and I started our way back to the hotel. Matt held the door to his room open for me and I walked in. "I'm so fucking confused and tired of everything!" I blurted out as I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I'm sorry." He said as he sat down next to me. I shook my head. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me Matt. Life would probably be so much fucking better if any of you never met me. My problems are mine, they shouldn't be made anybody else's." I explained as I looked at him.

He looked at me and shook his head as he took his hand and brushed a few stray hairs away from my face and behind my ear. "Your problems were made our problems because we care about you. You're our friend." He said.

I smiled. "Looks like I've been promoted from photographer to friend." I sadly joked. He didn't laugh. "Please tell me what's wrong." Matt asked as he grabbed my hand that was resting in my lap. I looked at him again.

"You know how when I told you that Brian and I aren't in a relationship?" I questioned him. He nodded. "Yeah, why?" He questioned, looking at me confused. "Well we weren't, but after you kissed me, I went to find Brian and he was pissed. He saw it happen. But I explained to him that he had no right to get mad. I didn't want a relationship, he knew that and was fine with that. But after he saw you and I kiss, he told me he wanted it to be. I don't need that. I don't think I can ever be in one after the shit that I've been through." I ranted.

"Brian wants a relationship? Like Synyster Gates, the womenizer, wants a relationship?" Matt asked like he couldn't believe it. I nodded. "He was pretty serious about it." I told him.

"Well, how do you feel about him?" Matt asked. "I like him, I do, I just. I had a crush on him when I was first introduced to you guys." I said to Matt.

"Delilah, then I think you need to face your fears. Brian can be a dick, yeah, but if Brian's telling you he wants a relationship, then the guy is probably fucking puppy love struck." Matt explained to me.

I shook my head and Matt looked at me. "It's not that simple." Matt furrowed his eyebrows. "How come?" He asked me. I lifted my head and stared into Matt's eyes. It seemed like we were closer to one another than we were before. "Because he's not the only one I have feelings for."I said to him.

Matt looked at me, searching my eyes for something, I just didn't know what, that is until he kissed me for the second time tonight and I found myself kissing him back.

What the fuck am I doing.