You Can Only Love Someone So Far//Avenged Sevenfold •M.Shadows•

Is It a Relief or Does it Make You Sad

Johnny pulled Matt away from Brian and Zacky pulled him away from Matt. "What the fuck is your problem?" Syn asked Matt. "You couldn't keep your fucking dick in your pants!" Matt yelled at Brian angrily. I looked at him, my eyes wide.

"What the fuck! No, you got it all wrong, so maybe Matt, you should shut the fuck about shit that you know nothing, about! And even if he did, why would you fucking care!?" I yelled at him. Matt shook his head and looked at Brian and then to me.

"Seriously, what is wrong with you, she's our photographer." Matt said. Ouch. Not even a friend. I felt the tears before they even started. "What's wrong Del? You're our friend, talk to me." Jimmy said. I shook my head. "No, cause according to Matt, I'm just you're guys' fucking photographer." I said bitterly, laced with sadness while looking at Matt.

I shook my head and started walking to my room. "Delilah wait!" Matt and Brian said at the same time. I shook my head. "Literally fuck off, I want to be alone." I said as I continued my way to the elevator.

As soon as I reached the room, I started sobbing. What the fuck was happening. I sniffled and walked over to my suitcase and grabbed some pajamas and my toothbrush and shit.

I changed out of my clothes and struggled to brush my teeth as I cried. I walked back to where the bed was. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't sit down, I just stood there. I then started pacing the room back and forth with my hands on my forehead.

I did that till I couldn't anymore, I fell to my knees. My life would so much fucking better if I did die in the bathroom that night, but Michael just had to come home. I shook my head.

I was on the floor crying when I heard the door open. I looked up and saw Brian. His face was bruised. He looked at me worriedly. He walked over to me and bent his knees so he could talk to me at eye level. "You okay?" He asked softly.

I shook my head. "According to Matt, I'm just the fucking photographer." I said. "Your more than that, he was just mad." Brian said. I looked at him. "Matt doesn't deserve to get mad. Not at something that doesn't fucking concern him." I said bitterly.

"I know." He said as I watched as he picked me up bridal style. "You need sleep." He said. "I hate Matt." I said. Brian nodded. "I know you do." He said as he laid me down in the bed and put the covers over me.

He bent down and kissed my lips lightly. "Now sleep." I didn't argue. Todays been fucking stupid and I was tired of it. Eventually, I felt the other side of the bed dip down and I assumed it was Brian. I didn't care, it didn't really fucking matter.

He gave me space, I appreciated that. Finally, sleep found me.

***

I woke up early, like 6-ish. I woke that early because I had to call and make an appointment with the clinic. I should of done it before tour even started, but I wasn't thinking.

When I did wake up, I felt an arm around my waist. I kind of forgot Brian and I were sharing a room. I also forgot what it was like to share a bed with someone. I silently and slowly rolled over to the edge of the bed till his arm was no longer around me and I got up.

I took a shower and hoped that Brian was still asleep, I forgot my clothes in my suitcase. "Well good morning." Brian said from the bed as I walked out of the bathroom. I looked at him.

"Morning." I said as I walked over to my suitcase. "What do you got going on today?" He asked as he got up. "Doctors, plan on being by myself for most of he day." I said as I grabbed some clothes and started walking back to the bathroom.

I didn't get very far. Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. "Brian, I got shit to do." I told him. "I figured, but hang on a minute." He said. I waited. He kissed me. "What's that for?" I asked. "It's a sorry." He said.

I looked at him. "For what?" I questioned. "Everything that happened yesterday." I smiled a small smile. "Thanks Brian. Now I gotta go." I said as I continued to the bathroom.

I got dressed, said goodbye to Brian and walked to the clinic. I'm thankful it was only a few blocks from the hotel. I told them why I was there and eventually a nurse came to get me.

"And you said it was positive correct?" She asked. I nodded. "Well we can run some tests to make sure." I said okay. We did the tests and a few minutes later, she came bc with a doctor. "Your test results say it was negative." The doctor said. I looked at her confused.

"Then how come the one I took on my own was positive?" I question. "False positive. Those tests you can buy in a box at the drug store aren't always accurate." She explained. I sat there. I didn't know how to feel about this.

"What about the symptoms. I mean the stomach hurting, the nausea, and the mood changes." I asked. "Have you been through anything stressful, traumatic lately?" The doctor asked. I then started balling.

I told them everything I could. Everything. "Oh honey." The doctor said. She was around 40, maybe late 30's. Around how old my mom would be if she was still alive. She gave me a hug.

"Your stressed out and anxious. You've been through a lot for just being 20. Take a day to yourself and see your primary care doctor to see about anti anxiety and stress medication." She said. I nodded and she handed me the paper work, the doctors note, and my test results.

I got up and then left. I couldn't help but silent cry. Yeah I wasn't gunna have a kid, but what if I was? I was confused. I needed someone to talk too. I was walking into the hotel when I ran into someone who was walking out.

"I-I'm sorry." I said looking at the person in front of me. I shook my head. It was Matt. "You know what? I really don't fucking need this right now." I said, walking past him. He followed after me. "Delilah, wait." He said as he grabbed my arm.

I turned around and looked at him. "Don't you ever touch me. You have been nothing, but a complete dick to me since I met you. You were nice for awhile, but now, now your the same as you were." I said.

"I want to apologize." He said. "Apologize for what? The fact that Brian quote on quote 'can't keep his fucking dick in his pants' or the fact that 'I'm just your guy's photographer." I basically yelled at him.

He shook his head. "I really am sorry, I was fucking pissed." He told me. "No Matt, you don't get to be pissed." I said to him. "I just don't know what's fucking happening." He said. I sighed and stopped yelling. "Me neither." I said tiredly.

We stood there a minute. "...got time to talk?" I questioned. He nodded and we went back to his hotel room so we could talk in private. "Brian and I have never slept together." I told him. "Yeah, he told me." He answered. I nodded.

"I'm going to tell you everything, and when I mean everything, I mean everything. That means more than Lacey and Gena know." I told him from where I was sitting. He shook his head. "Delilah, you don't have to." He said.

"No, I do, then maybe, you won't treat me like a dick anymore, now listen." I started. He didn't say anything so I told him everything. I told him about my mom dying of cancer when I was 11, my dad being in the military and never really being home, him being killed in action a week before my high school graduation, and I told him how Michael and I met.

I even told him everything, that Michael put me through, then I went on to almost everything that happened with my ex Anthony and how I ended up where I am now. That was more recent and I wasn't up to telling anymore people. I already told Lacey and Gena.

Last but not least were the events of yesterday. I even told him about my doctors appointment from this morning. "So now you know everything." I said, sniffing. "Delilah, I am, really fucking sorry for yesterday and all the shit I said when we met." Matt told me softly.

I nodded. "I'll, I'll see you later." I said standing to get up. "Wait." Matt told me as he also got up. "Is it a relief or does it make you sad?" He questioned. I knew he was referring to my appointment this morning. I shrugged and started to cry more.

"I don't know...I just..I-w...I can't." I answered shaking my head as I cried. Before I knew it, Matt walked over to me and hugged me. I cried into his chest. It was hard to stay mad at him.

I hate this.