let the light in | jack hughes

Chapter 34

[April 21, 2023]

Beatrice

I wasn't lying when I said I would sort out everything so I could skip town earlier. I couldn't change anything about my ticket so I gave it to Devon and I bought a new one for the 21st of the month. After Nico told me everything that happened that night I felt an itch to leave, being in the city he'd still be in set me on fire, and the possibility of seeing him out killed me. I couldn't go to the grocery store and accidentally see the man who ignored my calls when I needed help. 

The thought of it makes my heart break into two. I keep trying to make excuses for him but I can't after everything he said at the final game. I had to let him go because Jack would never pick me the way I wanted him to pick me. I had said it's how he said it that hurt more but that's not true. What hurt me is how true it was, I was waiting for him to pick me like a flower in a field. He loves me, he loves me not, that sort of thing. 

I put my exhausted and spent body into finally packing everything into boxes and my suitcase. I feel my eyes fluttering shut halfway through packing. I shake my head, waking myself up to finish this and distract my head from Jack's penetrating words. If I stay still for too long I can still feel him in my bones and it's dreadful.

I just want this all to be over. 

A few days after I dropped everything off at Dorothea's, putting all of my belongings into one of her spare rooms. I drop off the final box and give her a big hug squeezing her sides, thanking her with my actions. She rubs my arms with a sad smile that forces me to inhale and exhale. "I'm sorry Bea," she says softly, making the tears I thought I had escaped come back at full force. I settle back into her arms sobbing. "I just thought this time was different," I tell her as she rubs my back, letting me cry over a stupid boy.

When I pull away from her my alarm goes off, yelling at me to go to the airport. I knew I was going to get caught up in my feelings with Dorothea so I set the alarm to force us out of them and head to the airport before I missed my flight. "Okay, well let's go," I sniffle, hugging her one more time before running over to her car so she can take me. I grab my luggage and Ringo's crate out of my car and put it into hers. 

I felt safer having all my belongings including my car stay at Dorothea's while I'm gone. Just for my own peace of mind. The whole way to the airport Dorothea plays 'It's Time To Go' by Taylor Swift. The lyrics, "Sometimes giving up is the strong thing, sometimes to run is the brave thing," make me feel hopeful about this new Jackless chapter of my life. 

As we pull up to the airport, she hugs me tightly over the console, wishing me the best time in Greece. "I'll see you in July, right?" I ask her and wait for her nod. "Yes, of course," she reassures me. Dorothea loves coming to Greece during her birthday because she hates how there's always random fireworks the day after her birthday and claims it's not fair, so she avoids them completely. 

I get out of the car, grabbing my things, and get on my plane. 

It is time to go.

-

Lucky for me, I slept through the whole flight. It makes sense since I exhausted myself every day before today. I listen to everything being said on the intercoms, before softly pushing someone's head off my shoulder. Once it's finally time to get up, I feel an ache in my legs from sitting for so long. The initial stretch feels so good and rewarding, especially knowing you've just landed in Greece.

I stand around in an outfit completely inspired by my mom- a white shirt and blue overalls- as I wait for my turn to get off the plane and look for my bags and grab Ringo. Once I have everything I put my beach hat on and walk out looking out at all the water and nature that I missed so much. I haven't been here since last year and it makes me wonder why I left. I could've stayed here and helped Mom with the hotel.