let the light in | jack hughes

Chapter 64

[January 5, 2024]

Beatrice

It's been a few days since I left Jack's apartment with the promise that one day we could try again. I told him I wasn't sure how long I would take and he told me that was perfectly fine. I held his hands to soften the blow but he wasn't stung by it at all. His growth in how he speaks to me and looks at me shows me that he wants this. 

But I'm still incredibly hesitant, of course, I'd love to jump in head first but I have to guard my heart. I have to love myself enough to potentially leave again but also ask questions to make sure he has both of our hearts in mind. I wouldn't want him to hurt himself trying to fall in love again. 

I'm still not sure if he's looking out for my heart, but I'll look out for his. 

For my outfit today I choose to wear the cardigan he gave me with my black dress pants and tight sweater. I'm aware of what this outfit could do to him which is why I'm going to be farther away from him today. I turn on the song 'Cherry' by Harry Styles and drive to work, parking away from his car once again. 

I stay in my car a little longer to fight the butterflies in my stomach. How could it be that I'm already getting all fluttery when I see his car? That shouldn't be allowed in my personal opinion, I have to stay strong. After building up enough strength to not be phased by his shameless flirting I get out of the car, walking down a few hallways before I bump into him. Fuck.

That's what I get for avoiding him. It's always these damn corners.

"Oh my god, look at you," he smirks, holding my arm out to see the red stars on my elbows. "This shouldn't be allowed in my personal opinion," he says to me, his cheeks turning redder than mine, making me feel better about how he makes me feel. "Do you want it back, since it's not allowed on me?" I ask, working on my breathing so the next time I talk I don't sound like a dog. 

Jack lets go of my arm, shaking his head, pulling his phone out. "Absolutely not, I need to get a picture of you," he says, making me feel like the prettiest girl in the world. I stand still watching his face light up as he stares at the picture of me on his phone. "How much longer?" he asks in a teasing way, making the picture his home screen. 

"I still have a long way to go," I tell him watching him nod with the same smile. I say goodbye to him, letting him go off to practice while I die in my office. Why does this happen all the time? Why am I not allowed to avoid him? Whatever, starting now I'll avoid him.

After getting most of my work done Devon knocks on my door softly before walking inside. "Hey, do you want to come finish our work at the coffee shop down the street?" she asks as if she knew it was exactly what I needed for today. I say yes, grabbing all of my things before telling her I'd meet her there. We leave a few minutes before practice is over giving me just enough time to not run into Jack. 

But just in case I sprint to my car, trying to beat all the cold ass air coming my way. I turn my heater on all the way on my drive to the coffee shop. I stay in my car until Devon parks next to me. I grab my bag, taking it inside as we order our coffee and a snack. We pick our table to sit and get our work done from across one another. 

We click away on our computers, slowly sipping our warm coffee when I start editing a picture of Jack. As I smooth out parts of the photo and edit the colors in the image I start losing myself in the excitement on his face. He makes my job so easy, I can't help but capture his raw emotion in his sport. All I had to do is click the button and boom, but his energy makes the photo. 

"Oh hey guys," He says, making me slam my computer shut. I put both of my elbows on the top as the boy in the picture stands across from me. Is the world serious right now? I left early so I could have a day of no more Jack and then he pops up again. Life is not on my side right now. Devon looks over at Jack, giving him a side hug as he pulls up a chair next to us. I lay my head down on my computer not wanting to open it until he leaves.