let the light in | jack hughes

Chapter 62

[December 17, 2023]

Beatrice

I'm laying in bed with Ringo sleeping beside me just like old times. I no longer have a toxic and insecure man in my bed making me feel lonely when I know I'm not alone. I'm taking the break up easier than I thought I would, but that's because the relationship was done to me way before it even ended. I don't miss him, I don't even feel the need to get some type of closure. I'll get my closure on my own. But he, on the other hand, has not stopped calling and texting me telling me he fucked up.

Yeah, he did fuck up. He royally fucked up, he used the most important person in my life against me in the middle of breaking up with me. That was the worst thing anyone has ever said to me, so I've chosen not to repeat it to anyone. It hurts to say it out loud, because I know at the end of the day even if I wanted to I can't go running to my Dad. 

*incoming call from Harrison Maxwell*

I pick up my phone groaning because 3 am is way too fucking early to be dealing with him so I decide that this will be the last time I do. I pick up the phone not letting him get a word in before saying, "Harrison, don't try to call me ever again, I'm blocking you." I hang up on him, hurrying to block his cellphone number from my phone. There, that's one battle I don't have to fight anymore.

He's a leech, and I can't deal with him anymore. I don't want to deal with any boys at all for a while, and that includes Jack. I know he's trying, but the relationship I was in with Harrison was so draining I need some time for myself.  Especially at a time like this. The month has been hard, per usual, and adding on the potential stress of a relationship doesn't sound amazing. So for now I'll be single, and not let Jack know. For now. 

My friends don't even know, I haven't wanted to tell them we broke up because then I'd have to explain how and why we broke up. I don't exactly want an army of hockey players storming the  National Geographic building. 

I get up out of bed before my alarm goes off so I can go visit Dad before going to work. I put on some trouser pants and a black sweater over my long sleeve shirt to layer up for the cold weather. I pull my boots on before pouring some food into Ringo's bowl. "I'll say hi to Dad for you," I say, kissing the top of his head as he rubs his head up against my lips. 

It's now 9 am and the sun has only been up for two hours, I'm on the way to the market to pick up some poppies and tulips for my dad. I walk in and grab white tulips and red poppies, stopping in my tracks when I see a few yellow submarine keychains. I grab two and pay for them with a smile on my face. This is the first time I feel like I've had a sign from my Dad in a while and for a moment I feel like he's closer than he has been since August.

I thank the sweet woman checking me out and drive over to Hendrix Hill. I pull into the parking lot, grabbing Dad's flowers and key chain, and walk over to the spot I know as his. As I get closer to his headstone my heart starts racing and my palms sweat in the middle of winter. I still get very nervous to see my Dad, like the first time I came. As I look over to find my dad's headstone, I don't even have to turn the corner to fully see what's been done. 

Everything I brought in gets dropped to the ground, along with my body. I fall onto my knees, panic filling every single pore in my body. I quickly pull my phone out with shaky hands and call Nico. "Hey Bea what's going on?" he asks with a super raspy morning voice. "I-I need you to come to Hendrix Hill, please," I say unable to explain the slight in front of me, needing him to see it for himself. "Yeah, I'll be there soon," He says, rustling out of his bed sheets before hanging up on me. I take my flowers and keychain and slowly inch toward his grave.