Trust in Love

Chapter 35

Abhijeet's POV

"Do you have any idea what you are saying?"

Megha's eyes even though glaring at me held the world of hurt in them

"Jaan, try to understand. I just think this is not the right tim...."

"Right time.... right time. When will be the right time?" Her voice was rising with each word.

I knew it will be difficult  but didnt expect her to be unreasonable.  It is as if all my words are falling on deaf ears.

"I was silent when I lost my baby. I kept quiet when I listened to the taunts. I overlooked Appachi's attempt to destroy my family. Now when finally,  I crave for some thing which makes me happy..."

" Exactly  my point" I interrupted  her rant

She looked at me with scrunched eyebrows

"This is what I have been trying to make you understand for the past hour,Jaan. I know Mehul makes YOU happy but have YOU thought about HIS happiness. Do you really think he will be happy in a family where he is not fully accepted ? What about when he realises that he is being treated differently to the other kids of the family? All we will be doing is taking him from one unsuitable environment  to another"

" What unsuitable environment? We will be there for him. His parents....and about the rest, once he comes here, I am sure nobody will be able to resist his charms"

"Are you even listening to what you are saying? A child is not an experiment to try out. One wrong step even in the right direction can destroy lives and relations.Why Are you not able to understand this? I never thought you to be so stubborn" I screamed out in frustration.

Megha was staring at me flabbergasted while I turned away disappointed and tired of the direction the conversation was taking.

Suddenly, I was jerked around

"I am being stubborn....What about your family? After all we have been through, don't they think that we deserve this happiness "

Her blood shot eyes were spitting fire.
Neither is she understanding my dilemma nor am I able to convey my turmoil.

We both are now very high on emotions and I was scared, scared  that we may say or do something which may prove harmful to us in the end

"Why are you silent now? Jeet, I don't want to underst....and anyth...ing. I ju..ju..st wa..nt Mehul. That's it" she declared with trembling lips

I looked wide eyed at her ultimatum. She was breathing heavily and biting her lips to prevent the tears from
falling out.

I knew she was at her wits end but I too was helpless.

" He is not an object that you can demand,Megha" I said kindly but sternly

She gazed at me shocked . This maybe the first time , I have referred to her as anything other than Jaan

" Why are you doing this, Jeet? Don't you want him in our lives?"

The anguish was evident in her voice but  I hardened my heart to the tears brimming in her eyes. It is better to bear the hurt today rather than be broken tomorrow.

" Jeet.... You also want him ,right? " her tone was suspicious as she made me look at her

I kept quiet

"Jeet, your silence is scaring me . Please say something "

Her pleading pinched me and I told her honestly,

"I...I..don't....know"

I felt the hold of her on me loosen on my answer. She took few steps back but still held onto my gaze.

"What do you mean you don't know?"
Her voice was low but deadly. 

Words were lost to me on her question.

"Tell me Jeet.." rage in her voice was not hidden to me

"Jaan, I really don't know. My heart and mind are now at constant war. My conscience is questioning me whether I am doing this for us or ONLY for you. Until I am sure of the answer, I can't commit to this. It will be wrong especially  to Mehul."

I once again tried to put forth my predicament.

The traffic and the howling wind outside felt like a hurricane to me in the ensuing silence.

" I thought you will be happy but here you are just ignoring my pain" she finally broke the silence but with words that drew blood

The moment those hurtful words left her mouth, I pulled her sharply towards me. The pressure of the situation was already weighing heavily on me and now her accusation was the last straw.

" Don't you dare play the victim. You are not the only one burdened with this pain. The day may witness me with a smiling face but the night have seen my silent cries. So don't underestimate my hurt"  I gritted out the words with eyes blazing in anger

Our eyes were dueling their own battle when her whimpering reached my ears,

"You are hurting me,Jeet"

I let go of her in horror. She began rubbing down her arms where I have clutched her tightly.

Realising what I have done to Jaan in my anger, I couldn't dare to stand there a second longer. Ashamed to the core and not able to meet Megha's eyes, I strode out.