LUCENT

8

NADIRA

Once in the car, Tayyib doesn't start it. He sits with a stern expression for a minute before turning to me. "You wish to see him again soon?" he asks.

I nod slowly. "He was nice. And called me pretty," I reply, adding the last part purposely. I knew what game I was playing and was aiming for a home run.

His expression did not change, but his eyes went dark, and for a minute, I wanted to back down, but I couldn't let a man win. I shouldn't. "Why are you staring at me like that? You heard it with your own ears," I poke, hiding my smirk.

He remains quiet, and I take that as an opportunity to deliver the final blow. I dramatically slap my palm over my mouth and gasp in mock surprise, "Do you not think I'm pretty, Tayyib? If so, I'm sure if we go back in and ask all the men, more than half would agree I'm a ten."

"Normally, I'm a solid eight, but these jeans really do something for my lower half," I add, and he finally breaks eye contact. I smile in triumph. This should annoy him enough to let me go to Muhibba's house instead of his.

"The deal is off," he says, starting the car.

I whip my head to face him. "Pardon? Did you say the deal is off? Like the deal we made before this marriage?" I question.

"Yes, Nadira. The deal is off. Our marriage will be a proper one," he responds, driving out of the parking lot.

My lips go numb, and my heart rate picks up. I hastily grab his arm, "You don't mean that. Right? Please say you're joking," I plead, but he remains quiet.

I let go of his arm as anger steadily fills me. "You can't do that! We had an agreement! This isn't fair!" I yell.

"I can, and I just did. You should have had me sign a contract," he responds calmly.

"Tayyib, please. This isn't fair," I say, tears welling in my eyes.

"What isn't fair, Nadira? I don't think you actually understood what marriage entails. You rushed and agreed to this because you thought it was a way to escape your strict home. You felt comfortable going ahead because you had close to a year to keep living your life. You only thought about it on the surface level. You did not see it for what it actually is," he replies.

"But- But you also had your demands, and I agreed. Why are you ruining everything?" I ask.

He sighs. "You may be pretty young but you cannot be this naive. Do you know what a marriage is, Nadira? Do you know its weight and value in Islam? Did you think this was Child play?" he asks.

"Did you think we'd be roommates for the rest of our lives? Or that you'd be free to do as you please?" he adds.

I think before speaking, "Well, yes," I admit. "We'd live together but separately. That was the deal," I add.

"The deal never made sense. It was never going to end well," he responds.

I wipe my tears and swallow a sob. "Then why did you agree? Why didn't you say something?" I ask, and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Because, at that moment, it seemed like an easy solution. It seemed doable and risk-free, but that is not the case," he answers. "I am at fault here. You are young and still gaining your footing in adulthood and decision-making, and I'm the opposite of that. Every day since I was eleven, I've had to asses risks and make reasonable decisions," he adds.

"Then you shouldn't have agreed," I yelled, getting angry again.

"I know. It was a terrible decision on my part. I am sorry, Nadira," he says. "There are only two ways to remedy this. The ball is in your park. Whatever decision you make, I won't counter," he adds.